It’s rare for a film to come along and be consistent from head to toe. Which makes Unfinished Business a true feat when you realize just what a failure of a film it is on every conceivable level.

Unfinished Business  is the new “comedy” from the director of Delivery Man, and the writer of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (those words should be enough to get your spidey sense tingling). Vince Vaughn is Dan Trunkman, a fast talking salesman of some sort (the film never really explains what he does very well … something with numbers and making deals). The film opens on him having a heated discussion with his boss (played by Sienna Miller) over a five percent cut back to his salary. Long story short, Trunkman thinks he can start his own business and do a better job than his jerk of a boss. He then does his best Jerry Maguire tribute when he starts asking who will go with him and ends up alone in the parking lot. There he bumps into Timothy McWinters (Tom Wilkinson), who coincidentally has just been forced into retirement, as well as Mike Pancake (Dave Franco), a young enthusiastic but dim applicant who has just been turned down for a job. Of course Vaughn’s character hires them both and they get to work.

From there on forward we are exposed to some of the worst writing, lazy filmmaking, and oddest tone you might ever find in a major studio release. From the start we get an odd and overbearing five-minute Dunkin Donuts product placement, Vaughn sets a meeting with his staff at Dunkin, and there are several shots prominently featuring their logo including an establishing shot of the building’s outside sign that lingers far longer than needed. The movie’s logic immediately starts falling apart at this point. We are taken to one year later and see that our three leads are not having as much luck as they had hoped, but what sticks out more is that they also apparently know next to nothing about each other. Every piece of information we learn about them through the movie is a complete revelation to the other two. Somehow, while working side by side, the only three people running an upstart company, and they managed to learn next to nothing about each other.

Fortunately everything that defines these characters is two-dimensional and often cringe inducing so at least they didn’t miss out on anything important. Wilkinson’s character is an old horny man with a filthy mouth who wants to make enough money so that he can divorce his wife who is “the shape of a vending machine.” He constantly wants to see naked women, get trashed on booze and drugs, and curses nonstop. Of course we’re supposed to think it’s cute … ’cause he’s old! Franco’s character is defined by two things. First, his last name is Pancake, and apparently everyone they meet think that’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Second is that he’s mentally challenged. Yes, like literally he went to a special school and lives in a special facility. This fact doesn’t come up to his colleagues for over a year! Vaughn’s character is, well, the same character Vince Vaughn plays in every single movie. Except here he is somehow both a workaholic father who doesn’t notice the trouble his kids are having at school (another cyberbullying subplot, as is all the rage these days), yet the film also shows him constantly Facetiming with his family on the road. So we’re supposed to think he doesn’t know what’s going on but that he’s still a good dad.

Through a series of convoluted and frankly stupid events, the three must travel to Germany to close the one big deal that can save their company and send Vaughn’s oldest child to a private school where kids hopefully will stop picking on him for his weight. Once they arrive, it’s offhandedly said that the G8 summit, a gay and fetish festival, and a marathon are all happening the very same week. Hmm, I wonder if those will come into play somehow? Spoiler alert: they do, in the most forced and ham-fisted ways.

From here there is just scene after scene of unfunny, overly vulgar, and distasteful situations. Also from the previews you would assume a little swearing and some crude situations but the amount of nudity in the film is extremely surprising and used in ways that are the definition of gratuitous. Worst of all, none of it is funny. The “high point,” as I imagine the writers saw it, is a scene during the fetish festival where they use the bathroom at a gay nightclub. There they find four gloryholes along with four gentleman waiting for service behind said holes. Even after Vaughn explains he’s just looking for a friend, they stay as they are and have a five-minute conversation with cutaways to each man’s genitals as they speak. It actually gets worse from there, but I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

The production itself seems to have been plagued by either laziness, lack of budget, or even lack of talent. Some scenes early in the film appeared blurry or shot on a low-grade camera. Some of the same scenes had lighting that stuck out as blatantly fake. There were also two glaring continuity issues in the film. One being when the leads get off a train, bright sunny day, cut to the building they arrive at, still sunny mind you, and their shoulders have been noticeably rained on between the two shots. While it’s possible there was a scene cut out that explains this, in the film it just looks like sloppy filmmaking. The second issue is Vaughn is shown driving to the airport for his big trip, but when he arrives back to the airport his family has his car and is there to pick him up.

These are just the tip of the iceberg. When looking for negatives, this film comes fully stocked. I would say I chuckled three times over the excruciating ninety minute run time. Needless to say the cast and crew obviously cared little to nothing about the making of Unfinished Business and you as the viewing public should concern yourself even less with experiencing its failures.

“All That Jazz.” “Cell Block Tango.” “When You’re Good to Mama.” “Mr. Cellophane.” “Razzle Dazzle.” If you’re a fan of Broadway musicals — or movie musicals — you know that those songs all came from the Broadway hit Chicago. Chicago first hit Broadway in 1975 under the guidance of the incomparable Bob Fosse. The show ran for 936 performances and was revived in 1996 and is still playing today. That makes it the longest running Broadway revival in Broadway history, and the second longest running Broadway musical behind Phantom of the Opera.

The Broadway show has been sustained by the familiarity of the music and the dancing, and has had a revolving door of big name stars taking on the roles of Roxy Hart, Velma Kelly and Billy Flynn. Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles is currently treading the boards on Broadway, while a new tour is crossing the country with John O’Hurley taking on the role of Billy Flynn in select cities (luckily, Baltimore was one of them). But if you’ve already seen the Oscar-winning movie, is it worth the time to see the show live on stage? In a word … yes!

If you’re not familiar with the story, Chicago takes place in the 1920s during the Jazz Age at a time when the public was fascinated by crimes committed by women. We first meet Velma Kelly (Terra MacLeod), who opens the show with “All That Jazz.” She’s become a manufactured celebrity with hopes of hitting the vaudeville circuit after lawyer Billy Flynn manipulates a jury into finding her not guilty. But another wannabe star enters the prison, Roxy Hart (Bianca Marroquin), and takes the spotlight off of Velma thanks to Billy. But how long will Roxy’s star shine before the next big crime makes headlines?

If you’ve seen the movie version of Chicago, the stage version is a completely different animal. The movie had sets, costumes, and set most of the musical numbers as fantasy sequences in the mind of Roxy. The stage show is a bit more abstract. The only set is a large, three-tiered bandstand with the orchestra on stage (the conductor even has interaction with the cast and dialog of his own). Everyone else is dressed in black (or a tux in the case of Billy) and never change costumes even when they’re playing various characters. I know some people are turned off by shows that don’t have flashy sets and costumes, but Chicago is about the music and the dance.

And on that front, the cast (and the orchestra) delivers in spades. Both MacLeod and Marroquin have powerful voices, but while MacLeod’s Velma is the more seasoned and mature of the two, Marroquin gets to have a lot of fun with the younger Roxy, particularly with her mugging and making funny noises when she’s getting bored with all of the legal drama around her. One of the show’s stand-out numbers is “We Both Reached For the Gun” as Billy plays Roxy’s puppet master, literally, in front of the press. Both women also handle the Fosse-inspired choreography with panache.

O’Hurley is perfectly cast as Billy Flynn, using that persona he’s honed so well over the years, the self-important, over-blown ego on full display. He doesn’t have to do much dancing, but he’s got a very nice, powerful voice to make up for that. Another member of the touring cast has a notable claim to fame: Roz Ryan has played Matron “Mama” Morton on stage, Broadway and touring, longer than any other actor. She clearly relishes the role and while she doesn’t dance, she has the voice and stage presence to make you forget all about that. While all the numbers are outstanding, there is one major showstopper in Act 2 when Jacob Keith Watson, as Roxy’s husband Amos, takes the spotlight to sing “Mr. Cellophane.” The song is about how no one ever takes notice of Amos, even when they’re standing right next to him, but Watson brings such emotion to the number with his amazing singing voice (which really isn’t heard until this point) that you can’t help but take notice.

Overall, even if the show feels a bit uneven with very little dialog to drive the plot in Act 1 (which feels almost like a cabaret presentation of the music of Chicago), the cast’s singing and dancing, the more than outstanding support from the dance company (who are all impossibly sexy in their curve-hugging costumes), and the beautiful, familiar music provided by the orchestra makes a trip to Chicago well worth your time. Chicago is currently in Baltimore at the Hippodrome Theatre through March 8, with stops in Ontario, Virgina, New York, Texas, Arizona, Kansas and California to come. You can find out more information about the tour by clicking the banner below.

I was never sure if the original Hot Tub Time Machine was actually funny. I had seen the movie as the second part of a double feature at the drive-in, and I had been put into such a bad mood by the first movie — Kick-Ass — that I couldn’t even crack a smile during HTTM until about two-thirds of the way through. So I thought I’d give the sequel a shot to see if maybe there was something hilarious I missed because of that other movie.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 picks up after the events of the first movie with Lou (Rob Corddry), his son Jacob (Clark Duke) and friend Nick (Craig Robinson) as the leads. John Cusack (wisely) opted not to reprise his role from the original, although the character of Adam does hang heavily over the film, especially when the three meet Adam’s son Adam Jr. (Adam Scott … that’s a lot of Adams in one movie!) in the future.

Yes, this time the three think they’re going into the past to prevent Lou’s murder (and, let’s face it, he really deserved to be shot in the dick), but the hot tub actually takes you where you need to go, not where you want to go, so they end up ten years in the future and have to try to figure out which red herring killed Lou in the past. Was it the unaccounted for Adam? His jacket is lying next to the hot tub, so perhaps he used it to escape. Was it one of Lou’s disgruntled employees at Lougle? (Yes, Lou invents Google before Google, so it’s now Lougle). Was it actually Jacob, who seems to have benefited greatly in the future from his father’s death? Or someone else? Whoever it is, you can be sure a dick joke will be involved.

Yes, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 seems to have been written by a group of horny twelve-year-old boys who have a fascination with penises and the word “fuck.” Unfortunately, they never seem to be able to figure out how to make either thing the least bit funny (although some squirting semen does garner the film’s one big laugh). Not only is it not funny, but the character of Lou has been made even more grating than I remember him from the first movie (perhaps because Cusack was the real star of that film instead of Corddry). A little Lou goes a long way, and even when a SmartCar tries to murder him, you have to wonder why anyone else would care to save his life. He’s just awful, but there should be a huge cheer from the audience when he gets his comeuppance at the film’s end.

Craig Robinson probably comes off best with his musical ambitions and theft of popular songs like Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” (right down to recreating the original music video). Some of Nick’s songs, which Robinson actually co-wrote, are clever and funny so I have to give him points for that. Duke is fine and Jacob is not as obnoxious as Lou, but you have to wonder why he’d even care about saving the life of someone who is just so utterly terrible to him, even if Lou is his dad … who treats Jacob like a butler instead of a son. Adam Scott fares well too, especially as he goes from weird and needy to completely off his rocker after having a hit of something called Electric Ladybug. Chevy Chase makes a brief appearance and Community alum Gillian Jacobs appears as Adam’s fiancée.

There are not really a lot of good things to say about the movie. They can’t even keep their main concept of how the hot tub time machine works straight! They have to put some kind of blue crystals in to get it going and then there is a big deal made about getting totally plastered with drugs and alcohol, then blacking out and waking up at the destination. They go through this process at the beginning of the journey, but then any other time they use the machine, they just add the blue crystals and off they go. Why make such a big deal out of getting hammered if that really has nothing to do with the mechanics of the time machine??? Or at least address it later with a “huh, guess we really didn’t need to do that” after they time travel again. And almost everything you see in the commercials for the movie happens in the last five minutes!

When asked what we thought of the movie by the studio reps on the way out, the most positive things we could muster were, “the color processing was excellent,” “the sound was loud and clear,” “the picture was really big.” That was about it. I’m sure fans of the first Hot Tub Time Machine will flock to see this one, but right about now I’d like to jump in the tub myself and try to get that wasted 90 minutes of my life back.

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With the new film Fifty Shades of Grey coming out for Valentine’s Day, many couples will be tempted to spend their hard-earned cash to see it. Instead, lets look at why 2002’s Secretary is the smarter alternative.

To start, lets look at story. A young woman meets an older man in a position of power named Mr. Grey, the two become attracted to each other and embark on a BDSM relationship. Yes we just described both films with that one simple sentence. Two movies dealing with intense sexual relationships, focused primarily on BDSM, and having the male leads named Mr. Grey. The films diverge from here and show two very different takes on this lifestyle. Fifty Shades puts all the power into the man’s hands and focuses on the purely sexual side, making the female lead little more than a toy for his amusement. Secretary concerns itself with showing a fairly traditional love story, boy meets girls, boy and girl flirt, something goes wrong, girl tries to get boy back … but dressing such a traditional idea with an untraditional relationship. At it’s core Secretary is still a love story where Fifty Shades is a lust story.

Now lets look a little closer at the characters. Fifty Shades presents us with Christian Grey, a rich wildly successful businessman, and Anastasia Steele, a naive college student and virgin still finding her place in the world. In Secretary we meet Lee Holloway, a smart but damaged young woman, lacking in social skills and just out of the hospital for self harm, and E. Edward Grey, an odd, socially awkward attorney, who while successful is modestly so. The imbalance in these relationships becomes apparent immediately. Where on one side we have a rich powerful man towering over a shrinking violet, on the other hand we have two socially awkward people looking for someone who can appreciate them for their odd behavior and taboo desires. Where Christian Grey almost forces Anastasia into a new and frightening lifestyle, E. Edward Grey pulls back from Miss Holloway and she becomes the pursuer. Secretary is not only the more balanced story, it’s the one that empowers women.

This brings us to a fundamental problem with Fifty Shades of Grey. From what I’ve read of the BDSM community, a driving force seems to be that both parties enter into it with full knowledge and desire of what is going to happen. Whether through safe words or  agreement ahead of time, everyone involved knows their boundaries and they all sought out what they are getting into. Anastasia may be curious about what she is presented with but she’s really satisfying Grey’s desires, not any pre-existing ones of her own. Again Secretary shows us both parties enjoyed BDSM activities prior to meeting, they are satisfying both of their desires.

Next, lets look at our talent. Fifty Shades brings us Jamie Dornan, whose biggest role to date was the sheriff on Once Upon a Time, and Dakota Johnson who has only had some small film roles and one failed sitcom. They are brought together under the eye of director Sam Taylor-Johnson in her second full length feature. While they all seem to have some talent, they are by and large untested and unproven. Secretary also has a director with a limited body of work, Steven Shainberg, who boasts just a small handful of directing and producing credits over a twenty year career. He had the luck however of having two strong lead actors in Maggie Gyllenhaal (who had already been in ten feature films by 2002), and James Spader, whose performances are always deliciously odd but fascinatingly so. Despite being seventeen years apart in age the two of them work wonderfully together, bringing both an odd, socially inept, weirdness as well as a sweet childlike sensitivity to their characters.

Both films are adaptations of existing works, Secretary is an adaptation of the short story “Bad Behavior” by Mary Gaitskill. Fifty Shades of Grey started its life as Twilight fan fiction titled “Master of the Universe” which E. L. James published under the pseudonym “Snowqueen’s Icedragon.” Yes, that last sentence is a real thing which I just typed and you have just read. For many people the words “Fan Fiction” and Twilight will be all it takes to deter you from seeing the film. Kudos to you for being so smart.

While I’m sure people will flock to theaters to see Fifty Shades of Grey, I can only hope that a few people will take that time and watch (or even rewatch) a much lesser known film which tells a beautiful if unconventional story. Plus while the average movie ticket costs eight dollars, Secretary is available streaming for a very reasonable $2.99, money well spent.

  

If there was ever a venerable children’s franchise that refused to die, Power Rangers may just be the one. What started in 1993 has now spawned a two decade long authorization of fun television programming, movies, video games, and countless action figures – and I have been with them every single step of the way. It’s been several months since I’ve penned an editorial for CliqueClack, but having Power Rangers back on my flat screen has rather reinvigorated me.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen … I’m back.

Power Rangers Dino Charge premiered on Nickelodeon on Saturday afternoon though if you’re a fan like me, chances are you probably watched the premiere episode one week early on Nick.com. At any rate, the first installment really set the tone for Dino Charge and based upon what was shown, fans and casual viewers are in for a ride. Instead of the typical totalitarian villain bent on conquering the planet, Power Rangers Dino Charge concerns Sledge, a vile intergalactic bounty hunter on the hunt for the Energems. Who could blame him? All powerful gems with endless energies aren’t exactly available on EBay or Amazon.com. However, there to oppose him are the Power Rangers, who in this series harness the dynamisms and strengths of the ancient dinosaurs.

As has become the norm of the Power Rangers series, the sole mission of our favorite spandex clad heroes is to keep the planet safe and they are armed with an incredible arsenal to help them do so. This season features the usual line up of five rangers – just like previous seasons – but instead of three young men and two young women, there is only one young lady this time. That’s actually pretty interesting considering that’s how it usually is in the Japanese program that the show is adapted from.

However, that’s not the only significant change. Anyone that reads my editorials knows that I’m a big supporter of diversity on television. And by big, I mean colossal. This is why it pleases me to see a team of ethnically diverse superheroes this season. We have Brennan Mejia, a talented and athletically fit Mexican actor portraying Tyler, the Red Ranger and leader of the team. We also have Yoshua Sudarso, a gifted Idonesian actor portraying Koda, the Blue Ranger – the one Ranger that I always used to be on the playground as a child. But perhaps most notable is the fact that fans of the series have now been treated to an African-American Pink Ranger, the first time this has ever happened in Power Rangers history.

Consider my mind blown.

As Shelby, the Pink Ranger, Camille Hyde brings a certain warmth to the role. Now, I know some enthusiasts probably don’t want to make such a big deal about diversity in a program that’s typically aimed towards children. However, the fact of the matter is that it is now 2015. The world is colorful. I commend the brains behind Dino Charge for choosing a cast of capable young actors that children will not only be able to look up to, but see themselves in. I personally feel that there is something to be said of the fact that the first episode predominately featured both the Red Ranger and Pink Ranger in leading roles. In fact, they were the only two Rangers given the chance to change – ahem, morph – into their superhero counterparts to take down a monster wreaking havoc. I have but one word for this – Awesome!

Perchance the same thing can be said about the writing of the show as well. I noticed a massive improvement in the script over the last season of the series, Megaforce. When watching Megaforce, I often found myself confused and unnerved by numerous plot holes and unanswered questions. However, Dino Charge seems to have a solid plot. The pilot episode did a hell of a job setting up the season and establishing the mythology for the show. It was a full ten minutes before the main cast members were even introduced – and the Green Ranger, one of the core members of the team, didn’t even make an appearance in the episode. That’s a bold move by Power Ranger standards. Heck, that’s a bold move by television standards period.

My only real complaint is that I feel Nickelodeon should have just aired the second episode after the first. I think a one hour premiere would have been more effective. However, if suspense is what they were looking to create then they have certainly done well. Make no doubt about it, I will definitely be tuning in next Saturday.

After all, if history is any indication, these Rangers are here to stay.

Hey, there! Keep up with writer Jaylen Christie by following him on Twitter @thesuperflynerd! Tweet him! He’ll tweet you back!

Over the past few decades one thing has become abundantly clear — television audiences love sociopaths. Whether it’s Scrubs‘ Dr. Cox, or the titular characters of Dexter, Sherlock, and House, America seems to love emotionally distant yet brilliant characters. Sometimes they push into psychopathic territory but they still end up fan favorites, sometimes they’re the hero, other times a mentor, and other times villains we love to hate.

Fox is betting on that affection for the new show Backstrom, they even gave it the tagline “Brilliant detective, total dick.” Unfortunately Backstrom comes up lacking in the brilliant department and very heavy on the dick. As of this article, there have been three episodes of the show so far, all three have been painfully uninspired and lacking any real charm. The only real stars in the show are Dennis Haysbert, of 24 and Allstate commercial fame among countless other projects, along with Six Feet Under and The Office star Rainn Wilson as Backstrom. The rest of the cast is made up of fairly unknown actors. There are some pretty faces in the supporting cast but no one really stands out as particularly memorable or special. No one sticks out as particularly bad either, just forgettable.

Fox seems painfully desperate to create the next House with this show but they come up severely lacking. Most shows in this vein try to show the audience that this terrible jerk is brilliant and that’s why people put up with his crap. From word one, the writers seem to have adopted a tell and no-show attitude. Backstrom seems dead set on telling us ad nauseam how smart he is while showing us that he actually just makes wild unsubstantiated guesses and is usually wrong. When he is right, more often than not, the success has nothing to do with real detective work and more with dumb blind luck. One character even suggests that Backstrom works on a higher plane, that he sees the world differently and when he suggests a man is guilty just because he’s black that Backstrom really noticed his body language and read into his soul but isn’t aware he’s doing it and that’s why he gives such ridiculous reasons for his intuitions. My eyes rolled so hard when I heard this I feared they would get stuck that way.

This shows a primary problem with the entire show, instead of slowly building our respect of this character, peppering in bits of his dickish behavior, they instead try to force us to respect him by telling us he’s brilliant while saying that we should find his terrible behavior funny and endearing. Plus they seem to be trying to seed in possible future plot points far too early. Several times, ancillary characters have made reference to Backstrom’s famous father, a perfect upright citizen who apparently abused him as a child. They are obviously setting up his father to enter the show eventually and be in contention with his son. Then on the other end we have a gay, thieving, son of a prostitute, who is also Backstrom’s roommate. How Backstrom knows his mother is left vague and one character even notes their similar appearance. Uh oh, looks like Backstrom will be dealing with an illegitimate child who he may or may not realize is his.

These are the kind of things most shows would wait until season three or four to get into, right around the time they start running out of ideas. Here we’re setting these up in episode two. Not a good sign of things to come. Plus the show is already treading the clichéd, “Hey! This jerk is really a well-meaning guy with a tortured past and a dark side.” If we never get to know him as a hard-assed cold-hearted genius and the writers start deconstructing him from day one, nothing they do will have any real impact. Rainn Wilson is really trying to make the character his but he just doesn’t have the charisma of a television lead. Scenes where he attempts to play up some sort of irresistible sexual draw are played seemingly straight but come off as a joke.

From uninspired writing to miscast parts, Backstrom is a misfire on every level. Its police procedural elements are boring and its comedic elements fall flat. Barring a complete overhaul in writing and tone, there’s little chance we’ll be seeing Backstom again next year.

Mankind has long held a fascination with eerie things that go bump in the night and the mysterious fraternal orders that are bound by duty to keep us safe from such creatures. In Universal Pictures’ latest offering Seventh Son, we’re introduced to The Wardstone Chronicles (UK)/The Last Apprentice (US), a young-adult series written by author Joseph Delaney. This book series follows the supernatural adventures of Thomas “Tom” Ward (Ben Barnes), who is the seventh son of a seventh son, and therefore the apprentice of Spook John Gregory (Jeff Bridges). In this fictional world, a Spook is the title given to a knight who is bound by duty to fight against supernatural evil.

Only the seventh son of a seventh son is deemed strong enough to fight the good fight against a gaggle of ghosts, ghasts, witches, boggarts and the like. It seems this is a dying breed, as Gregory is the last of the Spook Masters. All of his apprentices have ultimately failed, having been killed by dark forces during their extensive training process. This is all bad enough for Gregory to contend with, but when you throw in the fact that the blood red moon is rising – an event that only happens once a century – and Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore) is once more free and gathering her evil minions to take over humanity, well it becomes a dire situation not for the faint of heart indeed. Mother Malkin is the evil queen of the witches. She is very powerful and dangerous with bloodthirsty, vengeful feelings for the Spook. She will stop at nothing to see that the Spook and his young apprentice fail their quest to undermine her uprising.

After Gregory’s latest protégé (Kit Harington) is killed by Mother Malkin at the beginning of the film, he is tasked with finding a suitable replacement immediately, for the ominous blood red moon is coming in just a week’s time. His travels lead him to young Tom, who is the seventh son of a simple farmer who was also a seventh son. There is more to Tom than meets the eye. He has haunting visions – mostly about Mother Malkin – that he doesn’t understand. One gets the impression that destiny has brought the Spook to his last apprentice, for maybe, just maybe, he is the key to Mother Malkin’s undoing.

While I haven’t read any of the book series, I was instantly drawn to the character of Tom. I love stories about humble, reluctant heroes; stories about people coming of age, meeting their destinies and embarking upon a noble quest or two. I think we all like to believe there is something deep-down special about us and that’s why we look to these types of heroes. I’m also a sucker for just about anything supernatural. When you throw in a good monster or two, I’m definitely down for the fight.

Seventh Son throws an abundance of monsters on the screen to delight the audience. Some of them are funny, some of them are creepy and some of them are cool to look at. The 3D effects enrich the overall experience, but it felt like the effects could have been better at times. When Mother Malkin summons her evil cronies, one is almost overwhelmed by the variety of creatures being presented. There’s Urag (a man who transforms into the most vicious-looking bear you’ve ever seen), Radu (the fearsome leader of a band of ninja assassins who also transforms into a dragon), Sarakin (a lady who transforms into a fierce jaguar), a four-armed, sword-yielding maniac known as Virahadra and Mother Malkin’s twisted witch sister, Bony Lizzie, who also (yawns) transforms into a dragon of a different color. By the end, it feels more like a dragon fight instead of a fight between good vs evil.

A friend of mine suggested I go into the film picturing everything Jeff Bridges says in his Dude voice from The Big Lebowski to make it more enjoyable if my interest started to wane. I don’t have the heart to tell him that this would be almost impossible because Bridges’ character mumbles almost unintelligibly throughout the film and sometimes I’m not even sure what he was saying, yet alone did I have the time to picture someone else saying it.

That’s not to say I didn’t like Seventh Son. I’d be lying if I said that my inner 10-year-old who often ponders such questions as “what do monsters have nightmares about?” wasn’t satisfied on some level. There are elements to it that interested me, and I especially enjoyed the fact that Ben Barnes was in it. In fact, I just crushed on him a couple of weeks ago in the historical television miniseries Sons of Liberty in which he played the affable Sam Adams. There’s also a love angle involving Tom and one of the witches (Alice played by Alicia Vikander) that is tender and playful and provides nice breaks from the effects-heavy action sequences. I also believe the villains were all well cast, especially Djimon Hounsou as Radu. He was a badass.

However, much like The Hobbit, I think some of the richness of the fictional world was perhaps lost in this film adaptation. While I enjoyed it, I felt it never quite managed to transcend into the film it possibly could have been given the imaginative subject material (and perhaps some of the higher-ups felt this too, for I read the film’s release date was pushed back). Upon reading an online synopsis of the first book, it seems the story was almost completely changed (including the addition of new characters), and I’m not sure it was for the better. While I won’t bash the film as much as some of the other reviews I’ve seen, I can certainly understand why fans of the book series might be disappointed with the final product. I think Seventh Son had lofty goals of being the next great supernatural fantasy, but it fell more than a little short of the prize. If you’re looking for a cheesy fantasy a la the ones of your childhood, it should be right up your alley.

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Growing older isn’t necessarily terrible. You can learn new things, live through new experiences, and even achieve what you never could as a younger person. You may even get a bit of wisdom. But there’s one 100% downside — getting older means your body is slowly falling apart. You might lose control of limbs or speech or even thought. It can be nothing or it can be everything. As people, we rely on our memory, unreliable as it may be (see Memento for words on this concept). People sometimes do this intentionally, taking drugs or meditating, trying to lose themselves in nothingness. But when you cannot control your own mind, it can be the most frustrating thing possible. And potentially the most destructive.

Still Alice is based on the novel of the same name, from writing/directing pair Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland. Interestingly enough, in 2011 Glatzer was diagnosed with ALS (also called Lou Gehrig’s disease), so there was real life inspiration to draw from. Julianne Moore plays Alice, a linguistics professor (a bitter irony) with a happy marriage to her husband (Alec Baldwin), and three kids of varying degrees of closeness. There’s her eldest Anna (Kate Bosworth) a well put together lawyer, middle child med student son (Hunter Parrish), and Lydia (Kristen Stewart), who’s an aspiring actress. But suddenly Alice is having difficulty with her memory and her words, and the worst is revealed: she has developed a form of early onset Alzheimer’s, and that’s not even the worst part. It’s also genetic, which means any of her kids may be susceptible.

There is an open question here, which is how much drama one can stand to watch. If you can’t handle people in pain, I’d avoid this movie. But if not…

The rest of the movie is to show the slow deterioration of Alice and how horrible it is for everyone. Perfectionist Anna can’t take the pain of losing her mom right in front of her, and Lydia, always the least like her mother, can’t help but lash out. And of course, Alice’s husband is suffering watching the love of his life slowly disappear. Thus begins an entrancing, horrifying, magnetic performance from Julianne Moore. She’s truly phenomenal here, easily showing off frustration and fear, pain and confusion. It’s not a movie to see when you want to feel great about life, but it is honest with the message it’s saying, which is simple enough: Losing your mind sucks. Alec Baldwin is fine here, subtle enough but I feel he’s better as a comedic performer. I actually really liked Kristen Stewart, being one of the few people who’s only seen in her non-Twilight movies (like Adventureland or On the Road).

She was good, letting you feel the pain and horror too, worrying about her mother but also her own future; would she be at risk too? I felt sad and empty after seeing this movie, but I’m not sad I watched it. Sometimes art can tell truth about pain, and that’s what Still Alice does brilliantly. It may not be the best movie on paper, but Julianne Moore makes it great.

ALL PASSES HAVE BEEN CLAIMED. COMMENTS ARE CLOSED.

CliqueClack has partnered with Warner Brothers Pictures to offer readers in Boston an opportunity to attend an advance screening of the new dramatic, comedic mystery Inherent Vice starring Joaquin Phoenix, Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon, Benecio Del Toro, Jenna Malone, Maya Rudolph and Martin Short.

When private eye Doc Sportello’s ex-old lady suddenly out of nowhere shows up with a story about her current billionaire land developer boyfriend whom she just happens to be in love with, and a plot by his wife and her boyfriend to kidnap that billionaire and throw him in a loony bin … well, easy for her to say. It’s the tail end of the psychedelic `60s and paranoia is running the day and Doc knows that “love” is another of those words going around at the moment, like “trip” or “groovy,” that’s being way too overused — except this one usually leads to trouble.

With a cast of characters that includes surfers, hustlers, dopers and rockers, a murderous loan shark, LAPD Detectives, a tenor sax player working undercover, and a mysterious entity known as the Golden Fang, which may only be a tax dodge set up by some dentists … part surf noir, part psychedelic romp — all Thomas Pynchon.

The screening will take place on Tuesday, January 6, 7:00 PM at Kendall Square Cinema, One Kendall Square, 355 Binney Street, Cambridge, MA.

A limited number of passes will be available on a first come, first served basis. To be eligible, please read and follow the directions CAREFULLY. There will be no exceptions.

• Comment on this post ONLY with BOSTON. Do not include anything else in the comment box. If you make a mistake, do not edit your comment because it will not register. You must submit a new comment.
• Include your FULL NAME (First and Last) and email address on the entry form (NOT in the comment box!). Double check your email address before submitting. If your email address is misspelled, you will not receive passes.
• ONE entry per person or couple will be accepted. CliqueClack has the right to discard any duplicates or comments that appear to be duplicates. Multiple comments from a single person will result in complete disqualification. Keep these offers fair for everyone!
• Winners will be contacted by email. Please make sure to set your filters to accept email from @cliqueclack.com.
• Check your calendar before commenting. If you have no intention of using the passes, please don’t leave a comment. If the studios see that passes we are given to award to our readers are not being used, they will not want to offer us passes for future screenings. Please be considerate!

Please note that passes do not guarantee seats at the screening. Seating is first come, first served so plan to arrive early. CliqueClack has no control over the total number of passes distributed, and is not responsible for seating arrangements at the theater.

Inherent Vice is rated R. No one under 17 will be admitted with parent or guardian. The movie opens December 12.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZfs22E7JmI

Captivating is the word that may immediately come to the minds of individuals who take a gander at Warner Brothers’ The Good Lie. As a matter of fact, awesome and fascinating may also be suitable words. Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon is the sole headliner in a film concerning a few smart and determined survivors of the civil war in Sudan back in the 1980s. The film was screened at the Toronto Film Festival earlier this year before opening on October 3. The Good Lie was met with positive reviews from critics and that’s the same thing it’s going to get here.

Simply put, the film was intriguing. The cinematography was pretty solid in the prologue set in Sudan. It seems the production team set out to capture the harsh realities of war and that was certainly what was on display. There was something a little disturbing about seeing adult soldiers chasing little children with rifles and shooting them if caught. However, perhaps this is what the director wants the viewer to feel. It was certainly effective. I watched this movie with my aunt who, up until that scene, was half asleep on the couch. However, she was jolted awake and stayed awake for the duration of the film.

“Some folks just have to grow up so fast,” she said with sadness. And she’s right. It seems we both received a bit of a history lesson … in addition to some top notch video quality. The film is presented in 1080p high definition and comes with DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (English) and Dolby Digital (French and Spanish). Subtitles come in English, French and Spanish. It’s also worth mentioning that the Blu-ray does come with a DVD as well which is a nice touch. The special features are typical but not boring – a feature with Witherspoon and director Philippe Falardeau sharing the challenges and triumphs of creating the motion picture, and a few deleted scenes.

There are some things that I did enjoy about The Good Lie. For starters, I loved the teamwork amongst the children in the tribe back in Sudan and I particularly enjoyed how devoted they were to reading the Bible and using it as a source of perseverance. I also liked how things were portrayed after the 13-year time jump that took place towards the second act of the film. I’m a sucker for camaraderie and it was nice to know that these friends stuck together after humanitarian efforts brought them to the America.

However, what I really enjoyed was seeing Witherspoon bring warmth and humor to her role as an assistant of sorts to the people of Sudan. It was funny seeing her help them get acclimated to American culture (i.e. introducing them to phones, light switches and even Jell-O). All in all, she did a great job and reminded viewers why she nabbed that Academy Award a few years ago.

Warner Brothers has another hit on their hand with The Good Lie. If movie lovers are looking for quality then this is definitely the way to go. That’s not a fib, folks. It’s a good truth.

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