It’s been a while since I’ve put out a post about MasterChef.

Last year — season 4 of the series — was a relatively quiet one. That’s not to say there weren’t fireworks and controversy dolloped throughout the episodes. Though quiet, the show’s fourth incarnation still remained completely watchable and even included the neat caveat of having a contestant from season 3 (Luca Manfé) not only returning but winning the whole enchilada as well. Additionally, MasterChef Junior debuted last summer. And while it mirrored the first season of its parent program, it held its own and was intriguing in its own right with kids 8 – 13 years of age getting the opportunity to strut their culinary stuff.

Then, Monday night showed us something we haven’t seen previously on the program. Something that made you take pause and think about … at least for a minute. You bandied with the dilemma of it, if only for a moment, considering what could or should be done given the situation. In the end, you knew the decision made was the right one, that there couldn’t be any other outcome.

Here’s what went down:

The final contestant called before the judges — Tyler Viars — brought his panna cotta to Gordon Ramsay, Graham Elliot and Joe Bastianich to be reviewed …

… except it wasn’t Tyler’s panna cotta. It was another contestant’s creation.

Sure enough, he was called on it. Gordon walked to a fridge off the competition area, opened a door and pulled out a tray of panna cotta. The tray Tyler had originally put in the fridge. It seemed evident that, in his haste, he had pulled a ramekin off a wrong tray. Presented with the evidence, Tyler not only owned up to the unintentional faux pas but apologized for it. Per the rules of the competition, preparations have to be judged based on what the contestants offer. The problem here was the dessert Tyler offered for consideration wasn’t his creation.

The judges had no choice but to eliminate him outright on the technicality. And, no matter how you look at it, it was the correct call.

But despite his realization and admission of wrong doing I’m not convinced it was as cut and dried as Tyler made it out to be.

Why?

Look … I can understand in the heat of competition grabbing a wrong item as he did. But here’s the part I don’t understand, the part I’ve been trying to wrap my head around from the time Ramsay brought out that tray of four untouched panna cotta:

Tyler prepared 4 individual portions of the dessert. Four of them. So riddle me this: Why in the world would he grab one — and only one — to prepare for the judges? I don’t care who you are, you don’t rely on a single, randomly pulled dessert to pin your hopes and dreams on in the heat of battle. Was he that confidant any one of his creations would have done the trick when offered up for review? Hell no. I don’t buy that for a second. You grab them all, you compare them all and you pick the best one of the bunch to be judged.

Back to the question: Why only one? Would you chalk that up to panic? Being so focused you’re in a zone and unaware of what you did? Did he just not have enough time to rifle though them all, thus the reason he snatched only one? Or was it as simple as not thinking clearly in the heat of the moment? How do you explain something like that?

Regardless, the dude owned up to it. Without blinking. No argument. No excuses. Completely commendable of the guy.

But something … something’s not right about it. Just a gut feeling.

Oh … those two wrongs making a right I alluded to in the excerpt? Wrong #1: Tyler picked the wrong dessert. Wrong #2: Tyler offered it up for consideration. The right? The decision to eliminate him from competition.

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The Fox television network unveiled its 2014 fall schedule and gave us a peek into what 2015 has in store as well. Fox had previously announced its new series acquisitions — Gotham, Red Band Society, Mulaney, Gracepoint, Utopia, Backstrom, Empire, Hieroglyph, Wayward Pines, Bordertown, The Last Man on Earth, Weird Loners — but many of them won’t be seen until 2015.

With the absence of The X Factor, and American Idol not returning until 2015 (with a shorter schedule than usual at about 37 hours instead of 50), that has freed up some time to debut some new shows in the fall. One glaring omission from the schedule is Glee, which has also been benched until 2015 and its 22-episode order may be trimmed to as little as 13. The plan is to run the final season without any breaks and to wrap up the story the best way possible. Another big change for the network is the break-up of Sunday’s Animation Domination block with only Bob’s Burgers, The Simpsons and Family Guy still on the schedule (American Dad moves to TBS, The Cleveland Show is cancelled). One of this season’s bright spots, Brooklyn Nine-Nine will occupy the spot after The Simpson and newcomer Mulaney, starring John Mulaney and Martin Short, moves into the post Family Guy time slot.

The show everyone seems most excited about, Gotham, will make its debut in the Monday slot leading in to last season’s hit Sleepy Hollow. Fox is so high on both shows that Gotham was given an initial 16-episode order and Sleepy Hollow, which was originally planned to get a second 13-episode season, is going to get an additional 2 – 5 episodes. Fox believes Gotham should outshine and out-perform ABC’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. simply for the fact that the Batman prequel will include famous fiends like The Riddler, The Penguin and Catwoman … at least the people they were before they become the famous Bat-villains. If nothing else, Gotham is certainly the most talked about new show of the coming season.

Besides Gotham, Fox has a couple of prestigious dramas on the boards with Red Band Society and Gracepoint. Red Band Society is based on a Spanish TV series and takes place in a hospital where a group of teens meet in the pediatrics ward. The comedic drama stars Oscar winner Octavia Spencer and Dave Annable, and is executive produced by Steven Spielberg. Gracepoint is the US adaptation of the hit British crime drama Broadchurch. Former Doctor Who David Tennant reprises his role from the original series.

Looking ahead to 2015, a truncated American Idol will return (no word yet on the judges), and the network hopes that the show will remain on the air for many years to come (rumors were swirling that the original trio of judges would return for the final season, whenever that may be), and Fox is planning three big special events for 2015 starting with a New Year’s Eve event hosted by Pitbull, a special to commemorate Evel Knievel’s attempted jump over Snake River Canyon, and a three-hour live musical presentation of Grease.

Fox will also be filling in the time vacated by The X Factor with a new reality series called Utopia. In this new show, a group of people are sent to an undeveloped location for a year and will be forced to form a society of some sort. With elements of Survivor and Big Brother, viewers will be able to follow the action on the air and online, and those who do not make themselves indispensable to the group are sent home. The twist is that they are replaced by new castaways, giving the show an eerily similar feeling to a former Fox reality program that was supposed to have no end, Forever Eden … which lasted all of seven episodes (18 remain unaired). Will Utopia be a bright spot on the Fox schedule?

As of now, the 2014 schedule is set with many of the big guns set for 2015 including Backstrom, from Bones creator Hart Hanson, Lee Daniels’ Empire, starring Terrence Howard, the ancient Egypt action-adventure series Hieroglyph, from Pacific Rim writer Travis Beacham, limited run series Wayward Pines from M. Night Shyamalan, and comedies Bordertown (working title),  The Last Man on Earth (with Will Forte), and Weird Loners starring Becki Newton. Here’s what to expect in the fall:

Monday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Gotham
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Sleepy Hollow

Tuesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Utopia
9:00-9:30 p.m. — New Girl
9:30-10:00 p.m. — The Mindy Project

Wednesday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Hell’s Kitchen
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Red Band Society

Thursday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — Bones
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Gracepoint

Friday
8:00-9:00 p.m. — MasterChef Junior
9:00-10:00 p.m. — Utopia

Saturday
7:00-10:30 p.m. — Fox Sports Saturday

Sunday
7:00-7:30 p.m. — NFL Game
7:30-8:00 p.m. — Bob’s Burgers
8:00-8:30 p.m. — The Simpsons
8:30-9:00 p.m. — Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9:00-9:30 p.m. — Family Guy
9:30-10:00 p.m. — Mulaney

Do you hear that sound, the sound of the season … three of Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off? It’s that sound of uber-irritant cook personality Guy Fieri’s whiny drawl and the raspy laugh of celebrity chef Rachael Ray. I stumbled across this little gem of a terrible reality show last year, in which barely notables competed as so-called “good” cooks for charities they supported. Sometimes, you got the feeling that the charities should’ve been themselves. The format is simple, because it doesn’t need to be complex. Guy and Rachael pick teams that face off, voting off a person into the final showdown, with various quirky and stupid “themes” each week, basically the sorts of things Top Chef decided were too easy. I can barely contain my excitement as I consider this wondrous new season of awfulness made watchability. Because I will be watching the whole season, I promise you that, unless it gets boring. But when you look at these magical con-“chef”-stants, that’s hard to imagine. We’ve got ‘em all, folks.

Vanilla Ice joins as a triple duty reality star. He’s a former musician turned laughingstock, a former reality show contestant turned laughingstock, and a beautifully aware camera mugger. Bless you, Rob Van Winkle, for causing Guy Fieri to tell you to “stop talking to the camera so much.” If I had been drinking something at that moment, I’d have spit it out because that’s advice Guy himself should take. Tiffany describes herself as the “voice of the 80s,” which is ludicrous, because it’s a tie between Steve Perry, Whitney Houston, and Billy Joel. Oh wait, she didn’t mean best voice of the 80s, just indicative of how people remember it, loud, brightly colored, and overrated. Okay then. She’s boring, though. Next is Penn Jillette, celebrity magician and far and away the smartest person there. Maybe Penn doesn’t realize that he needs to be so present on TV, but I guess he got addicted after being the smartest one on Celebrity Apprentice. His strategy was an interesting one, cramming a bunch of cooking techniques from Vegas masterchefs to learn a couple of fancy dishes. So he may suffer on improvisational cooking or the fundamentals, but he’s a charismatic presence nonetheless.

In the first episode, we saw a key difference between expertise in showmanship, with Penn effortlessly winning over the crowd of a Medieval Times (also used last season because … well, they said yes) but not former SNL cast member and failed movie star Chris Kattan. His attempts at “riffing” were actually a bit painful to watch, and I really thought he’d be cut at the end of the episode because he seemed the least interesting, besides Tiffany, who cooked the most popular dish (and so was safe) or random sports veteran Herschel Walker, who may run restaurants in real life but is a black hole of personality on the screen. He seems like a nice guy, though. I felt a bit bad for Chris Kattan, because his food (roasted vegetables) should be easy if you know to make consistent sizes and keep things simple but interesting. Instead it sounded pretty awful, overcooked and undercooked, bland and overpopulated with too many things. I shouldn’t forget comedian Judy Gold, who shocked me by being so virulently unfunny, but maybe she was just edited that way. I’ve seen her do funny things in the past after all. So we’ve got the former musicians, the legitimate performer, the C-grade comic actor, the unknown female comic, and the required sports person. Who are we missing? We still need a terrible person known only for being on a reality show and an older performer that you can’t quite believe is doing this terrible show.

Oh, and that’s just what we have, with The Bachelor‘s (and other reality shows) Jake Pavelka, who face literally screams “unctuous.” Figuratively. This guy, talking about competing to win with a smarmy grin serving food with a literal rose petal (which isn’t really a food). Did 800 bachelorettes really find this charming? I admit I may have the number wrong, I didn’t watch his season. And Florence Henderson, matriarch of classic TV fluff The Brady Bunch, working gamely through an injured foot and clearly holding back on any complicated dishes. That’s a smart move. There wasn’t a whole lot of craziness or zaniness in this first episodes, but it’s essentially the perfect reality show, epitomizing the entire genre all at once. It’s terrible and very watchable. Everyone has an ego far more than they deserve. And there are varying degrees of delusions of grandeur and mental illness. This particular show is unique, in that you can often imagine you’re better than the so-called “experts” (I’m discounting Worst Chefs in America, because those people are intentionally picked to be bad). I gotta tell you, sometimes trainwreck television is just the right thing when you’re relaxing after a long day and don’t really want to pay much attention to detail. At this point, the train is still on technically on the track, but I’m hopeful. Ever hopeful.

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I don’t mind telling you that I’m a bit sad that my favorite new show of the fall is ending after only seven episodes. It’s also the best new reality show, but that’s easy, because there aren’t really any other notable ones. MasterChef Junior is a spin-off of the popular MasterChef series created and judged by angry, profane, and British super chef Gordon Ramsay, although versions of this kiddie variant already have aired in Australia and the UK. I’ve watched a bit of the other ones, but there are few too many country specific “celebrities” I don’t recognize to really get invested. That said, you need to watch this show! You can catch up before Friday on the MasterChef Junior website, but perhaps I should explain first. If you like cooking competition shows, I shouldn’t have to explain why you’ll like this one, so let’s focus on those who don’t watch these sorts of things.

The format is fast but effective, and although there were a lot of kidcheftestants to think about at first, very quickly a few very interesting and engaging personalities emerged. And shockingly enough, they are all exceptionally talented cooks, all between the ages of nine and thirteen! The oldest at that age is Alexander, who seems like he’d win the adult version with just a bit more experience; this kid is seriously impressive to watch, and it’s obvious how much he wants this — although they all do, of course. There’s also arrogant but talented California dude Troy (who’s apparently an aspiring actor), supremely talented Dara (talent belied by her set of differently colored giant plastic bow), ridiculously precocious nine year old Sarah (who needs a crate to reach the counter), and old soul Jack (with a Long Island accent and an endless supply of Hawaiian shirts). One of things that’s nice about this show, besides the easily recognizable and unique contestants, is that these kids are too young to be cynical or filled with guile. Even the frontrunner Alexander knows he’s not infallible and works hard every single time. And when a kid gets voted off, they cry a bit and you might a bit also. Unless you’re just made of stone.

The show has not had a single weak episode, which is helped by its lightning quick season. All of my favorites have made it far, and the challenges are a mix of classic cooking favorites and some great twists. Something like “unpleasant food” is par for the course for a bunch of adults, but when these kids get past their initial disgust, they learn legitimate cooking knowledge of how even the grossest food can be awesome when prepared right. And I have to say … when the kids took over a restaurant (seriously!), it’s no wonder the LA snob eaters burst into applause when they found out who actually cooked their food. That’ll be a story they can tell their less rich friends later! MasterChef Junior also shockingly has judges that provide reasonable, helpful criticism and actually seem to care about the kids. Watching Gordon Ramsay here, expressing sincerity and honesty, actually giving cooking tips and comforting kids when they screw up. It makes you realize that he’s not a terrible person, apparently. Everyone seems to be more decent in general here. Yes, although there may be a bit of sneakery and very mild trash talking around, they all support each other when they fail or when they succeed. And I will readily admit I’ve laughed multiple times per episode, which is unfortunately more than quite a few “comedies” out there.

I don’t want to spoil the outcomes or the episodes so far, but I will certainly talk about the finale to talk about what we’ve learned. Perhaps you may find yourself a bit humbled and awed by the capabilities of these young phenoms, but I hope instead you’ll merely be amazed at their potential. Keep an eye out for the frenetic gesticulations of Jack and the mugging of Sarah, which have not yet gotten tiresome or annoying. Man, I can’t wait for season two!

To subscribe to the below schedule in iCal, copy this link and paste into the “Subscribe…” menu item in iCal. You can also just click it to open iCal or even click to add to your iPhone calendar. The same link will work in a Google Calendar as well! Or see the calendar as a web page (also embedded at the bottom of this post). The calendar will update as new shows are added/changed.

* All times are in EDT PM, unless otherwise mentioned.
* New series premieres are in Bold Italics

SERIES PREMIERES/RETURNS

SEPTEMBER

Tuesday, September 3

10:00 Cold Justice (TNT)

10:00 Luther (BBCA)

10:00 Tosh.0 (Comedy)

10:00 We’re The Fugawis (History)

10:30 Brickleberry (Comedy)

Wednesday, September 4

9:00 Inside the NFL (Showtime)

10:00 Ghost Mine (Syfy)

10:00 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX)

10:30 The League (FXX)

11:00 Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell (FXX)

Thursday, September 5

8:30 Sunday Night Football (NBC)

Friday, September 6

10:00 20/20 (ABC)

Saturday, September 7

8:00 Cupcake Wars (Food)

Sunday, September 8

9:00 Boardwalk Empire (HBO)

Monday, September 9

8:00 The Million Second Quiz (NBC)

Tuesday, September 10

10:00 Sons of Anarchy (FX)

12:00AM The Heart, She Holler (Adult Swim)

Wednesday, September 11

8:00 The X Factor (FOX)

9:00 Restaurant Stakeout (Food)

10:30 Thieves, Inc. (Food)

12:00AM Derek (Netflix)

Friday, September 13

10:00 Haven (Syfy)

10:00 Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Sunday, September 15

10:00 The Great Santini Brothers (History)

Monday, September 16

8:00 Bones (FOX)

8:00 Dancing with the Stars (ABC)

9:00 Sleepy Hollow (FOX)

Tuesday, September 17

8:00 Dads (FOX)

8:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX)

9:00 New Girl (FOX)

9:30 The Mindy Project (FOX)

10:00 The New Atlanta (Bravo)

Wednesday, September 18

8:00 Survivor (CBS)

10:30 Key & Peele (Comedy)

Friday, September 20

8:00 Last Man Standing (ABC)

8:30 The Neighbors (ABC)

9:00 Shark Tank (ABC)

Sunday, September 22

11:30 China, IL (Adult Swim)

Monday, September 23

8:00 How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

8:00 The Voice (NBC)

9:00 2 Broke Girls (CBS)

9:30 Mom (CBS)

10:00 The Blacklist (NBC)

10:00 Hostages (CBS)

10:00 Castle (ABC)

Tuesday, September 24

8:00 Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (ABC)

8:00 NCIS (CBS)

9:00 The Goldbergs (ABC)

9:00 NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

9:30 Trophy Wife (ABC)

10:00 Chicago Fire (NBC)

10:00 Fangasm (Syfy)

10:00 Lucky 7 (ABC)

10:00 Person of Interest (CBS)

Wednesday, September 25

8:00 The Middle (ABC)

8:00 Revolution (NBC)

8:30 Back in the Game (ABC)

9:00 Criminal Minds (CBS)

9:00 Law & Order: SVU (NBC)

9:00 Modern Family (ABC)

10:00 CSI (CBS)

10:00 Nashville (ABC)

10:00 South Park (Comedy)

Thursday, September 26

8:00 The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

8:00 Parks & Recreation (NBC)

9:00 The Crazy Ones (CBS)

9:00 Glee (FOX)

9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)

9:00 The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC)

9:30 Two and a Half Men (CBS)

10:00 Elementary (CBS)

10:00 Parenthood (NBC)

Friday, September 27

8:00 Masterchef Junior (FOX)

8:00 Undercover Boss (CBS)

9:00 Dateline (NBC)

9:00 Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)

10:00 Blue Bloods (CBS)

Saturday, September 28

10:00 48 Hours (CBS)

Sunday, September 29

8:00 The Amazing Race (CBS)

8:00 Once Upon a Time (ABC)

8:00 The Simpsons (FOX)

8:30 Bob’s Burgers (FOX)

9:00 Family Guy (FOX)

9:00 The Good Wife (CBS)

9:00 Homeland (Showtime)

9:00 Revenge (ABC)

9:30 American Dad (FOX)

10:00 Betrayal (ABC)

10:00 Eastbound & Down (HBO)

10:00 Masters of Sex (Showtime)

10:00 The Mentalist (CBS)

10:30 Hello Ladies (HBO)

Monday, September 30

8:30 We Are Men (CBS)

OCTOBER

Wednesday, October 2

9:30 Super Fun Night (ABC)

10:00 Ironside (NBC)

10:00 Top Chef (Bravo)

Thursday, October 3

8:00 The Vampire Diaries (CW)

8:30 The Millers (CBS)

8:30 Welcome to the Family (NBC)

9:00 The Originals (CW)

9:00 Sean Saves the World  (NBC)

10:00 Scandal (ABC)

Sunday, October 6

9:00 Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

9:00 The Paradise (PBS)

Monday, October 7

8:00 Hart of Dixie (CW)

9:00 Beauty and the Beast (CW)

Tuesday, October 8

8:00 The Biggest Loser (NBC)

9:00 Supernatural (CW)

Wednesday, October 9

8:00 Arrow (CW)

9:00 The Tomorrow People (CW)

Thursday, October 10

8:00 Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC)

Sunday, October 13

9:00 The Walking Dead (AMC)

10:00 Talking Dead (AMC)

12:00AM Comic Book Men (AMC)

Tuesday, October 15

10:00 Real Husbands of Hollywood (BET)

Thursday, October 17

9:00 Reign (CW)

9:00 White Collar (USA)

10:00 Covert Affairs (USA)

Saturday, October 19

10:00 Dancing on the Edge (Starz)

Tuesday, October 22

9:00 Ravenswood (ABC Family)

10:00 Awkward (MTV)

Friday, October 25

8:00 The Carrie Diaries (CW)

9:00 Grimm (NBC)

10:00 Dracula (NBC)

NOVEMBER

Sunday, November 3

8:00 It Takes a Choir (USA)

Monday, November 4

8:00 Almost Human (FOX)

Friday, November 8

9:00 Raising Hope (FOX)

9:30 Enlisted (FOX)

Saturday, November 23

10:00 Atlantis (BBCA)

Monday, November 25

9:00 Major Crimes (TNT)

Tuesday, November 26

9:00 Boston’s Finest (TNT)

I’ll say again: spoilers for last night’s MasterChef follow. …

A few weeks ago, as I was watching an episode of MasterChef with Deb, a contestant — I can’t remember who it was — presented a dish to the judges that was crap. It wasn’t just presented poorly or simply underdone; it was raw. And by raw I mean it was inedible. If someone ate it, they’d likely become ill. As this contestant was being berated by the judges for having served them that trash, I paused the episode and said, “I have a ballsy move someone on the show should try sometime to save themselves. It would be a huge risk and would be a one-off trick, but it might just save their ass in a situation like this.”

“Drop the plate on the way up?” Deb asked.

“No! That would never win the judges’ sympathy, and they’d see right through that bullshit. I’m saying they walk right up there either empty handed or — in an even more ballsy move — take their dish up there and do the honors of dumping it right in the trash.”

Deb, of course, thinks I’m insane. But hear me out!

My thinking is this: if you’re trying to be a “master chef,” then act like it. Someone who’s competing to make a name for themselves either with incredible dishes in their own restaurant or with a cookbook would never — NEVER — knowingly serve inedible, disgusting or possibly dangerously undercooked food. It just wouldn’t happen. So why serve it to the judges? Hoping they won’t notice or not throw up on the spot?

For my plan to work, it would have to be executed flawlessly, at the perfect moment and could only work ONE time. And by “one time” I mean it would only work once in the season and for no one else afterwards — possibly for the extent of the series.

Let me play out the perfect scenario. You’re a contestant on MasterChef, and as you’re busting your ass trying to cook, say, chicken, you realize this dish just isn’t going to be edible; it’s going to be raw or just gross, and the judges probably won’t even take a bite. You’re fucked. As you’re stressing this over before being called up to the judges’ table, you notice that another contestant has a pretty awful dish as well; maybe not worse than yours, but definitely second-worse. Ideally, that person is called up first, and the judges tear them apart. Now’s your chance. Your name is called to the table. You walk right up there, and instead of putting the plate on the table, you dump it right in the trash.

“What the bloody hell did you do that for?!” would be Gordon’s likely response.

Your response back: “What I cooked there was something I would never, ever put in front of someone I was serving food to. I’m not going to dishonor myself or you guys by trying to even pass it off as something you should or could eat. So I’m presenting you with the best I have right now, which is nothing. Serving nothing is better than serving that.”

Deb’s (and likely your) first reaction to this is: bullshit; it’d never work. They’d be first to get kicked out, right? I’m saying I think it could not only work in the contestant’s favor, but it’d cause a wave of shock throughout the MasterChef-verse at what a ballsy (and, I might add, professional) move it was to pull, but that the judges let him stay.

Why would this work? Because the judges could say his conduct was most becoming of what it means to be a true “master chef” in the business. That a chef not only needs to be able to cook and cook well, but that they are able to discern what is suitable for someone to eat before serving it. Sometimes a chef makes mistakes, and they need to recognize that. Because this contestant chose to hold their head high and not present something knowingly bad to the judges and (and this is the most important part) because another contestant chose instead to give them slop, the one throwing their dish in the trash is safe.

Yes, this is a huge gamble. I’m definitely not saying this would surely work. I do think it’s a worthwhile consideration, though, if what you’re presenting to the judges is clearly going to get your ass thrown out. I’m also not entirely sure this would have worked with Eddie’s issue last night, since he would have been speaking for both himself and Jessie — I’m not sure she’d have gone for that move, unless at the last second he pulled the uni off the plate and threw it away without consulting her.

So, am I as delusional as Deb continues to say I am? Think this could be a “get out of jail free card” for someone some day? Or what if MasterChef allowed each contestant one time to pull this off, at the risk of that meaning their dish will be considered as “the worst” if nobody else puts something up that’s awful?

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To subscribe to the below schedule in iCal, copy this link and paste into the “Subscribe…” menu item in iCal. You can also just click it to open iCal or even click to add to your iPhone calendar. The same link will work in a Google Calendar as well! Or see the calendar as a web page (also embedded at the bottom of this post). The calendar will update as new shows are added/changed.

* All times are in EDT PM, unless otherwise mentioned.
* New series premieres are in Bold Italics

SERIES PREMIERES/RETURNS

MAY

Monday, May 20

8:30 The Goodwin Games (FOX)

10:00 Motive (ABC)

Wednesday, May 22

8:00 MasterChef (FOX)

Thursday, May 23

8:00 Save Me (NBC)

9:00 Showville (AMC)

9:00 Toxic Office (FOX)

10:00 Rookie Blue (ABC)

Monday, May 27

8:00 The Bachelorette (ABC)

9:00 American Pickers (History)

9:00 The Glades (A&E)

10:00 Longmire (A&E)

Tuesday, May 28

8:00 Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC)

10:00 Brooklyn DA (CBS)

Wednesday, May 29

8:00 The American Baking Competition (CBS)

8:00 Melissa & Joey (ABC Family)

8:30 Baby Daddy (ABC Family)

9:00 Dancing Fools (ABC Family)

10:00 Top Shot (History)

Friday, May 31

9:00 Primetime (ABC)

JUNE

Sunday, June 2

8:00 The Killing (AMC)

9:00 The Next Food Network Star (Food)

9:00 Princesses (Bravo)

12:00 The Venture Bros. (Adult Swim)

Monday, June 3

9:00 The Fosters (ABC Family)

10:00 Teen Wolf (MTV)

10:00 Mistresses (ABC)

Tuesday, June 4

9:00 America’s Got Talent (NBC)

9:00 Total Blackout (Syfy)

10:00 Exit (Syfy)

Wednesday, June 5

10:00 Chef Roblé & Co. (Bravo)

10:00 Paranormal Witness (Syfy)

Thursday, June 6

8:00 The Hero (TNT)

9:00 72 Hours (TNT)

9:00 Burn Notice (USA)

9:00 Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis (Bravo)

10:00 Graceland (USA)

Friday, June 7

10:00 Continuum (Syfy)

Saturday, June 8

9:00 Sinbad (Syfy)

10:00 Being Human (BBCA)

10:00 Primeval (Syfy)

Sunday, June 9

9:00 Falling Skies (TNT)

Monday, June 10

8:00 Switched at Birth (ABC Family)

9:00 White Collar (USA)

10:00 King & Maxwell (TNT)

Tuesday, June 11

8:00 Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)

9:00 Twisted (ABC Family)

10:00 Chopped (Food)

Wednesday, June 12

9:00 Ghost Hunters (Syfy)

9:00 Royal Pains (USA)

10:00 Necessary Roughness (USA)

Thursday, June 13

9:00 Intervention (A&E)

Friday, June 14

9:00 Magic City (Starz)

Saturday, June 15

10:00 Mistresses (ABC)

Sunday, June 16

9:00 True Blood (HBO)

9:00 Inspector Lewis (PBS)

Tuesday, June 18

10:00 Blood & Oil (Discovery)

Wednesday, June 19

9:00 Franklin & Bash (TNT)

10:00 Futurama (Comedy)

10:00 Hot in Cleveland (TV Land)

10:30 The Exes (TV Land)

11:00 Soul Man (TV Land)

Thursday, June 20

10:00 Wilfred (FX)

11:00 Gigolos (Showtime)

Sunday, June 23

9:00 Crossing Lines (NBC)

9:00 Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime)

9:00 Whodunnit? (ABC)

10:00 Devious Maids (Lifetime)

10:00 Copper (BBCA)

Monday, June 24

10:00 Under the Dome (CBS)

10:00 POV (PBS)

10:00 Under the Dome (CBS)

Tuesday, June 25

9:00 Rizzoli & Isles (TNT)

10:00 Perception (TNT)

10:00 Catfish (MTV)

Wednesday, June 26

9:00 Big Brother (CBS)

Sunday, June 30

9:00 Dexter (Showtime)

10:00 Ray Donovan (Showtime)

JULY

Monday, July 1

8:00 American Ninja Warrior (NBC)

Sunday, July 7

9:00 Endeavor (PBS)

Monday, July 8

9:00 Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls (NBC)

Wednesday, July 10

9:00 America’s Got Talent (NBC)

10:00 Camp (NBC)

Thursday, July 11

9:00 The Winner Is … (NBC)

10:00 Hollywood Game Night (NBC)

Sunday, July 14

10:00 The Newsroom (HBO)

Tuesday, July 16

8:00 Whose Line is it Anyway? (CW)

9:00 Covert Affairs (USA)

9:00 Joe Rogan Questions Everything (Syfy)

9:00 Perfect Score (CW)

10:00 Notorious Hauntings (Syfy)

10:00 Suits (USA)

Monday, July 22

11:00 Web Therapy (Showtime)

Wednesday, July 24

9:00 The Vineyard (ABC Family)

10:00 Haunted Highway (Syfy)

Sunday, July 28

9:00 Unforgettable (CBS)

Monday, July 29

9:00 Breaking Pointe (CW)

Wednesday, July 31

9:00 The Hunt (CW)

AUGUST

Saturday, August 3

9:00 Hell on Wheels (AMC)

Sunday, August 11

9:00 Breaking Bad (AMC)

10:00 Low Winter Sun (AMC)

11:00 Talking Bad (AMC)

Thursday, August 15

9:00 Owner’s Manual (AMC)

10:00 The Pitch (AMC)

Sunday, August 25

9:00 Silk (PBS)

Tuesday, August 27

9:00 Face Off (Syfy)

10:00 Cosworld (Syfy)

Saturday, August 31

8:00 Saturday Night College Football (ABC)

While I don’t sit on The Food Network all night long like I used to years ago, I like a decent cooking competition show. I still catch Iron Chef whenever I can (read: these days, sadly, never), and I make time to watch FOX’s MasterChef when it returns. So, when I saw another cooking competition show coming to network television, I was excited at the thought that it might give me another fix weekly food porn.

ABC’s The Taste — which premieres tonight at 8PM — takes a different approach to shows like Iron Chef, MasterChef, Top Chef and Chopped. Each incoming contestant has one hour to prepare a gourmet meal that fits on a large spoon — and by large I mean it just barely fits in the judges’ mouths.  The food doesn’t have to look good, it just has to “taste” good, hence the show’s title. The judges each get their own spoonful of the mini-meal, without knowing anything about the person who prepared it. After their tasting, they’re each required to decide whether they want the person who cooked that dish to be on their team … and I’m not entirely sure what that means, but more on that later. The contestant is then revealed to the judges, they reveal their yes/no vote, and we move on to another contestant. In the end, each judge needs to have a team of four, so they need to choose wisely.

It sounds like a neat premise, and the judges (who include Anthony Bourdain, for one) are a nice and mostly likable bunch. The problem is that, so far, this show looks to have needed more fleshing out before it should have been brought to air.

The first issue — which may be resolved in the on-air version of the episodes I screened — is that it’s not clear what the purpose or ultimate goal of the show is. Each judge works hard to cleverly form their team of four chefs, but we don’t know what those teams are supposed to be doing in the end. Do the teams work together to make one dish that’s later judged? And then who gets eliminated from each team? Do teams get cut down until one is left, and then it breaks out into individuals again? I just don’t know.

The other thing that bums be out about The Taste is the lack of, well, food. Too much time is spent on bringing in one contestant after another, and we barely see any dishes being created or get much opportunity to drool over the dishes being served. In a way we’re being just as cock-teased as the judges are with that small taste of what should be a larger meal. I want to see more food! I should be hungry after watching a show like this. I just felt frustrated.

Then there’s the weakest point of the show by far, and that’s the judging. The judges go about tasting the food and commenting to each other about it, then they make their hidden choices by pushing a button under the table they’re seated at. The contestant is brought up in some sort of elevator or transport tube, forced to stay inside it while the door opens to the judges. After a few minutes of them conversing with the judges, telling them what they do for a living and what the dish was that they just ate, the judges reveal their decisions … and they often regret them. Why the hell are they regretting their choice immediately following when they pushed the damned button? This happened several times! “I made a huge mistake.” What the WHAT? What this tells me is that at least this portion of the judging for the show is severely flawed. It’s one thing if they regretted their choice at another point later in the season — hell, later in the DAY — but minutes later? That should have been fixed before the show proceeded.

It could be that things get better as the season progresses, but so far this first couple of hours of The Taste is a flop.