ALL PASSES HAVE BEEN CLAIMED. THIS OFFER IS CLOSED.

CliqueClack has partnered with Universal Pictures to offer readers in Boston and Hartford an opportunity to attend an advance screening of the new action film Furious 7 starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Elsa Pataky, Lucas Black, Djimon Hounsou, Tony Jaa, Ronda Rousey, Nathalie Emmanuel, with Kurt Russell and Jason Statham.

Continuing the global exploits in the unstoppable franchise built on speed, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Dwayne Johnson lead the returning cast of Furious 7. James Wan directs this chapter of the hugely successful series.

The screening will take place Tuesday, March 31, 7:00 PM at AMC Boston Common and AMC Plainville.

Passes will be available on a first come, first served basis. To be eligible, please read and follow the directions CAREFULLY. There will be no exceptions.

• Comment on this post ONLY with HARTFORD. All Boston passes have been claimed. Do not include anything else in the comment box. If you make a mistake, do not edit your comment because it will not register. You must submit a new comment.
• Include your FULL NAME (First and Last) and email address on the entry form (NOT in the comment box!). Double check your email address before submitting. If your email address is misspelled, you will not receive passes.
• ONE entry per person or couple will be accepted. CliqueClack has the right to discard any duplicates or comments that appear to be duplicates. Multiple comments from a single person will result in complete disqualification. Keep these offers fair for everyone!
• Winners will be contacted by email and will receive ONE ADMIT TWO pass. Please make sure to set your filters to accept email from @cliqueclack.com.
• Check your calendar before commenting. If you have no intention of using the passes, please don’t leave a comment. If the studios see that passes we are given to award to our readers are not being used, they will not want to offer us passes for future screenings. Please be considerate!

Please note that passes do not guarantee seats at the screening. Seating is first come, first served so plan to arrive early. CliqueClack has no control over the total number of passes distributed, and is not responsible for seating arrangements at the theater.

Seventh Son is rated PG-13 for prolonged frenetic sequences of violence, action and mayhem, suggestive content and brief strong language. The movie opens Friday, April 3.

Unless you’ve lived under a rock or have lived a very sheltered life, you probably know that Walt Disney became the king of animated films when he first released Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937. A hit, the film led to more classic fairy tales and children’s stories being brought to life through the wonders of animation.

In 1950, Walt Disney Productions brought Cinderella to the big screen and the film has charmed audiences ever since. Now Disney has gotten into the business of remaking its classic animated films, past and present, as live action extravaganzas. Last year’s Maleficent, based on Sleeping Beauty‘s grand villainess, was a monster success and more remakes — Beauty and the Beast, The Jungle Book — are in the works (and let’s not forget Disney did remake 101 Dalmations several years ago). For now, we have Disney’s Cinderella brought to magical life.

You probably know the story: young orphan is treated badly by her stepmother and stepsisters, basically treated like the help instead of family, she meets a prince in the forest, he is smitten and holds a ball to which everyone is invited, she arrives with the help of her Fairy Godmother, clock strikes midnight, she must run, loses a shoe and he takes the shoe (a glass slipper) throughout the kingdom to find its owner. And, of course, they live happily ever after. Spoiler alert?

The 1950 version followed that plot and the 2015 version is extremely and thankfully faithful to its source material. There’s been no attempt to modernize the story, although you’d be hard-pressed to pinpoint an exact time period (but there are no cars) which helps make the film and the story timeless.

Lily James, better known as Lady Rose MacClare on Downton Abbey, is simply wonderful as Ella (the Cinder part is attached to her after she is forced to work in the kitchen). She radiates innocence and purity and love and happiness, she’s pretty but not beautiful, she gives Ella a nice down-to-earth charm that should be a good role model for young girls. Even in her darkest moments of being emotionally bullied by her step-family, she remains true to herself and never wallows in her own self pity. Once she’s transformed and knows the prince wants to marry her, she still retains that charm that had been instilled in her from childhood. James makes Cinderella someone to really root for.

On the other hand, you have the deliciously evil Stepmother played with aplomb by Cate Blanchett. The character certainly could have given Blanchett reason enough for some juicy scenery chewing, but she manages to keep Stepmother just this side of a caricature. And as with Maleficent, the script gives us a little bit of an insight into why she’s so mean so as to humanize her, but you’re still happy that she and her daughters get what’s coming to them in the end.

Richard Madden, Game of Thrones‘ Robb Stark, is a prince any girl would want to marry and any boy might aspire to be. Even with his regal bearings, he’s just as down-to-earth as Ella and refuses to be married off to another kingdom’s royalty just because his father and the royal court says that’s the way it’s done. He goes to the end of his land to find the mysterious girl from the ball, and you can’t help but fall in love with them as they fall in love.

Helena Bonham Carter shows up for one scene as the comic relief Fairy Godmother (she also sings “Bibbity Bobbity Boo” over the end credits), Derek Jacobi is the King and Stellan Skarsgård is the Grand Duke. Director Kenneth Brannagh firmly grounds the film in its own special world, opting to use mostly physical sets over the routine CGI creations which really helps the fairy tale fantasy feel more realistic. The scene where the clock strikes midnight and Cinderella must flee the ball before everything returns to their normal states, from lizard footmen to the goose carriage drive, is a breathtakingly shot and edited chase scene that will keep you on the edge of your seat even though you know how it ends. And kudos to the CGI department who really give life to a bunch of digital mice. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear they were real, trained performers.

Cinderella is certainly geared towards a female audience, young and old alike, but the action, special effects and palace intrigue should be appealing to everyone. The film is enjoyably pleasant (and also features some gorgeous costumes) and you won’t feel like you just wasted two hours of your life after you exit the theater.

As a bonus, audiences are treated to the new animated short Frozen Fever featuring the cast of the original film. The story follows Elsa as she tries to plan a birthday party for Anna, but a cold could prevent her from getting Anna to her party. It’s wonderfully animated and tells a cute story with one big laugh, but it’s ultimately not quite as memorable as Frozen. Luckily, Disney announced there will be a Frozen 2, so this should hold fans over until then.

Not too long ago, Warner Brothers Animation teamed up the classic Scooby-Doo characters with animated versions of WWE stars in Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery. The pairing must have been successful as the two entertainment giants have joined forces once again, but this time taking a step or two — or 65 million — back in time to meet that modern Stone Age family, The Flintstones.

I grew up watching The Flintstones and I always enjoyed the shows with current stars appearing in Stone Age form like Ann-Margrock and Stoney Curtis. Other celebs, who probably didn’t actually voice their cartoon characters, included Cary Granite, Ed Sulleystone, Rock Hudstone and Perry Masonry. Through many revivals over the years and two live action feature films, the Flintstones and their friends the Rubbles, have encountered many prehistoric versions of modern celebrities. And they’ve done it again with the new home video release The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown.

The new story finds Fred promising to take Wilma and Pebbles on vacation, but as usual, his vacation fund is lacking. Another screw up at his job at the quarry costs him a paycheck, so the only thing he can do is tell Wilma the trip is off. But he knows it’s easier to tame a sabre-tooth tiger than tangle with Wilma. At a Water Buffalo Lodge fair, Barney sells chances for anyone to get into the ring with his pet Hoppy but a belligerent customer berates Hoppy so much that Barney steps in to save the day. He wins the match and Fred hatches an idea: create a sports entertainment event with Barney facing off against a group of people they hire and rake in the clams. Literally, since people pay with clam shells in Bedrock.

The event draws a huge crowd to see Barney face off against John Cenastone, Ray Mysteriopal, and The Undertaker, but Barney’s nemesis CM Punkrock returns for a rematch. When Wilma and Betty discover what’s happening and Barney refuses to get into another match, Fred’s fame and fortune looks like its about to go out the window along with his vacation plans. Will CM Punkrock prevail or get his comeuppance?

The new Flinstones & WWE video has all the trappings of the usual Flintstones TV episode including all of the “modern” Stone Age gadgets, like an automatic garage door opener, and businesses (Stonebucks Coffee and Marshale’s). The video also runs under 60 minutes, playing like a two-part episode of the TV show rather than a feature film. The animation is clean and fluid and pays homage to the original enough to please long-time fans but is still modern enough for a new generation, and the Blu-ray presents it all in sharp 1080p video with some of the brightest, most vivid colors you’ve ever seen. The audio is a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround track that also delivers as you would expect from a Warner Brothers title.

The Blu-ray also contains a collection of special features including:

• The Superstars of Fred Flintstone Entertainment (9:46) — Director and WWE stars talk about the story and how their real life characters were incorporated into a Flintstones story.
• How To Be a Stone Age Superstar (4:45) — Director Tony Cervone and the WWE stars explain how to create a character’s personality.
• “The Engagement Ring” (26:22) — Original sports themed The Flintstones episode.
• “Take Me Out To the Ball Game” (26:05) — Original sports themed The Flintstones episode.
• Trailers for Scooby-Doo: Wrestlemania Mystery, LEGO Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu, Scooby-Doo: Moon Monster Madness

The one glaring omission on the bonus material featuring the WWE stars is CM Punk, who quit (or was fired from) the WWE last year. It’s a shame he wasn’t able to participate since he is such an integral character to the plot. That aside, longtime fans of The Flintstones should enjoy this new production chiefly because the actor doing Fred’s voice, Jeff Bergman, is one of the most accurate to the original that I’ve ever heard. The others are close enough, but Bergman really nails it. Other WWE stars lending their voices to the video include Mark Henry (Marble Henry), Daniel Bryan (Daniel Bry-rock), Brie and Nikki Bella (The Boulder Twins) and Mr. McMahon (Mr. McMagma). If you want to relive your childhood, or introduce your own children to The Flintstones, pick up The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age Smackdown, sit back and, as the theme song says, “you’ll have a gay old time.”

The Blu-ray/DVD/Digital HD Combo package was provided to CliqueClack by Warner Brothers Home Entertainment for the purpose of review.

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It’s rare for a film to come along and be consistent from head to toe. Which makes Unfinished Business a true feat when you realize just what a failure of a film it is on every conceivable level.

Unfinished Business  is the new “comedy” from the director of Delivery Man, and the writer of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (those words should be enough to get your spidey sense tingling). Vince Vaughn is Dan Trunkman, a fast talking salesman of some sort (the film never really explains what he does very well … something with numbers and making deals). The film opens on him having a heated discussion with his boss (played by Sienna Miller) over a five percent cut back to his salary. Long story short, Trunkman thinks he can start his own business and do a better job than his jerk of a boss. He then does his best Jerry Maguire tribute when he starts asking who will go with him and ends up alone in the parking lot. There he bumps into Timothy McWinters (Tom Wilkinson), who coincidentally has just been forced into retirement, as well as Mike Pancake (Dave Franco), a young enthusiastic but dim applicant who has just been turned down for a job. Of course Vaughn’s character hires them both and they get to work.

From there on forward we are exposed to some of the worst writing, lazy filmmaking, and oddest tone you might ever find in a major studio release. From the start we get an odd and overbearing five-minute Dunkin Donuts product placement, Vaughn sets a meeting with his staff at Dunkin, and there are several shots prominently featuring their logo including an establishing shot of the building’s outside sign that lingers far longer than needed. The movie’s logic immediately starts falling apart at this point. We are taken to one year later and see that our three leads are not having as much luck as they had hoped, but what sticks out more is that they also apparently know next to nothing about each other. Every piece of information we learn about them through the movie is a complete revelation to the other two. Somehow, while working side by side, the only three people running an upstart company, and they managed to learn next to nothing about each other.

Fortunately everything that defines these characters is two-dimensional and often cringe inducing so at least they didn’t miss out on anything important. Wilkinson’s character is an old horny man with a filthy mouth who wants to make enough money so that he can divorce his wife who is “the shape of a vending machine.” He constantly wants to see naked women, get trashed on booze and drugs, and curses nonstop. Of course we’re supposed to think it’s cute … ’cause he’s old! Franco’s character is defined by two things. First, his last name is Pancake, and apparently everyone they meet think that’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Second is that he’s mentally challenged. Yes, like literally he went to a special school and lives in a special facility. This fact doesn’t come up to his colleagues for over a year! Vaughn’s character is, well, the same character Vince Vaughn plays in every single movie. Except here he is somehow both a workaholic father who doesn’t notice the trouble his kids are having at school (another cyberbullying subplot, as is all the rage these days), yet the film also shows him constantly Facetiming with his family on the road. So we’re supposed to think he doesn’t know what’s going on but that he’s still a good dad.

Through a series of convoluted and frankly stupid events, the three must travel to Germany to close the one big deal that can save their company and send Vaughn’s oldest child to a private school where kids hopefully will stop picking on him for his weight. Once they arrive, it’s offhandedly said that the G8 summit, a gay and fetish festival, and a marathon are all happening the very same week. Hmm, I wonder if those will come into play somehow? Spoiler alert: they do, in the most forced and ham-fisted ways.

From here there is just scene after scene of unfunny, overly vulgar, and distasteful situations. Also from the previews you would assume a little swearing and some crude situations but the amount of nudity in the film is extremely surprising and used in ways that are the definition of gratuitous. Worst of all, none of it is funny. The “high point,” as I imagine the writers saw it, is a scene during the fetish festival where they use the bathroom at a gay nightclub. There they find four gloryholes along with four gentleman waiting for service behind said holes. Even after Vaughn explains he’s just looking for a friend, they stay as they are and have a five-minute conversation with cutaways to each man’s genitals as they speak. It actually gets worse from there, but I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

The production itself seems to have been plagued by either laziness, lack of budget, or even lack of talent. Some scenes early in the film appeared blurry or shot on a low-grade camera. Some of the same scenes had lighting that stuck out as blatantly fake. There were also two glaring continuity issues in the film. One being when the leads get off a train, bright sunny day, cut to the building they arrive at, still sunny mind you, and their shoulders have been noticeably rained on between the two shots. While it’s possible there was a scene cut out that explains this, in the film it just looks like sloppy filmmaking. The second issue is Vaughn is shown driving to the airport for his big trip, but when he arrives back to the airport his family has his car and is there to pick him up.

These are just the tip of the iceberg. When looking for negatives, this film comes fully stocked. I would say I chuckled three times over the excruciating ninety minute run time. Needless to say the cast and crew obviously cared little to nothing about the making of Unfinished Business and you as the viewing public should concern yourself even less with experiencing its failures.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before. A con man walks into the room and stares at you. He winks and says, “Am I playing you or are you playing me?” After some daring adventure, the “game” becomes increasingly convoluted and less and less feasible. Soon enough, you say to the con man, “Perhaps ’twas I that played you, eh?” After another few twists that only make sense if you had read the script beforehand, you part ways feeling happy but hollow, like you just ate a giant inflatable plate of spaghetti smothered with real cheese. Sure, it was good going down, but it won’t leave you with anything.

Focus is a heist movie in the spirit of The Italian Job or Ocean’s 13 (that’s right, I said 13). It stars Will Smith as Nicky, an older, talented thief who has charisma nearly akin to Will Smith himself! That’s a minor miracle, Will Smith actually showcasing his fun, dangerous side (not too dangerous, but still). The movie also stars Margot Robbie as Jess, a grifter wannabe who stumbles across Nicky and decides she wants a mentor in the “art” of what you might call “gentleman theft.” It’s all slick moves and distractions, nothing violent, but a lot of pickpocketing.

So after a bit of reasonable back and forth, Nicky agrees to let Jess join his huge team of thieves as they steal from innocent victims at a “Super Bowlish” football event with a thinly defined and tossed out code of ethics that basically excludes the elderly and disabled. This leads to the most tense and interesting scene of the movie, where Nicky faces off against a foreign rich guy (a fantastic B.D. Wong). Although the resolution is decently done, it’s ultimately a bit of a letdown because the rest of the movie doesn’t get that interesting again.

The second part of the movie is three years later, where Nicky is about to run a new con, paid for by a Formula 1 rich guy (Rodrigo Santoro). And wouldn’t you know it, he runs into Jess again! But who’s really playing the con here and who’s playing an even deeper con? Will love conquer all? Unfortunately, the chemistry between Margot Robbie and Will Smith isn’t that great, and the writing is very flip on why they like each other. That said, Margot Robbie is great with an underwritten character, stealing “focus” every moment she’s on screen. Gerald McRaney as the rich guy’s head of security is also curmudgeonly amusing, while Adrian Martinez as Nicky’s friend Farhad is hilarious. Although I didn’t really like how he was just assigned to be Persian, considering the actor isn’t.

Are there twists? Turns? Etc? Of course! Some predictable, some silly, some very predictable, and a few kind of cool. The lesson seems to be “love is more important than money,” which while seemingly important, also seems out of sync for a heist movie. The romance angle just doesn’t work, but the rest is decent fun.

How much is too much?

Based on common sense and experience, it’s not unreasonable to believe we have a pretty good grasp of what “too much” means. Between you, me and every other reader out there, we can attach a reasonable answer to the question in pretty short order.

Take common sense for example: We know when there is too much salt on our food, when it’s too cold to go outside without a jacket, when you’re too tired to concentrate on something. Pretty basic stuff.

On the flip side, the concept of “too much” is not so easy to discern when it comes to some of our television preferences … and especially so with our favorite shows.

Already in The Walking Dead‘s current season’s second half, there’s been a bevy of examples of excess. And many of them have elicited its fans’ displeasure. (This isn’t exactly news to anyone; the show has been doing so from its inception, a big part of its draw and watchability.)

Recent events have caused fans (read “angry villagers”) to wield their pitchforks and lit torches on a vocal little stroll down Main Street, U.S.A.

Too Much Immediacy

With the series leaving us last year mourning Beth’s untimely demise, the writers immediately offered an interesting episode (“What Happened And What’s Going On”) to start the second half of the season with yet another death, this time fan-favorite Tyreese. Coming so quickly on the heels of Beth’s exit, you could practically hear fans gnashing their teeth. Was this too much too soon? Are the writers that heartless? Do they get their rocks off pegging us with multiple deaths back-to-back, barely giving us time to breathe?

No, not at all. It was the perfect time. It kept things flowing and interesting and it keeps us on the edge of our seats. Not to mention it makes for good drama. And it’s not as if it hasn’t been done before — Dale and Shane were “offed” in consecutive episodes during season 2. The show’s Powers That Be aren’t setting any precedents.

But still … too much too soon? That’s what a lot of fans harped about on social media, blogs and other forums concerning Tyreese’s downfall. Just goes to show you can’t please everyone all of the time.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s those gut punches and their ramifications that keep the show’s comfortabilities at bay and our senses tuned. Me? I didn’t have a problem with it. It’s part of what The Walking Dead is. If you’re a fan, you come to expect the unexpected. So, no … it wasn’t too much.

Too Much Monotony

This is one of my pet peeves. And not about the show itself, but of the fans’ attitudes toward it.

To many, last week’s “Them” was filled with plodding and tiresome nothingness. Some of the things I read and heard? “Not much action.” “Boring.” “Little story.” “It’s as if the group was doing nothing but huffing it on down a highway aimlessly.”

And therein lies my peeve. Because there was so much more to the episode.

The group was fresh from a confrontation at Grady Memorial where they successfully won back Carol but lost Beth in the process. They were still reeling from Bob’s fate at the hands of the Terminans not to mention the ruckus of that particular house of horrors. And now? Tyreese is gone. The group, as a whole, is woefully affected on deeply personal levels, particularly so in the cases of Daryl, Maggie and Sasha whose feelings have been especially riven and rent raw as a result of the loss of their loved ones. But wait, there’s more: Throw in everyone’s depletion from lack of food and water and you have yourself a real party going on. Each person is spent to their cores. Does the situation cry for a splatter-fest fracas with the undead?

No. It calls for introspection and understanding of the characters, some healing of those frayed nerves, sometimes in the form of emotional outlet. In whatever form that outlet might take. And, again, that’s just what the writers gave us. They slowed the pace of the show for the greater part of an episode and, as an audience, got us to take a step backward and evaluate the position these emotionally crippled and physically exhausted folks are feeling.

It’s called character study. I applaud it. And I’m certain I’m in the minority.

Most fans want the action, the splatter, the danger … every single episode. And I get that to a degree. It’s all well and fine to get caught up in a show. I do it all the time. But in something like The Walking Dead there’s a whole lot more going on then just the blood and guts, which is my least favorite part. Getting to the heart of the characters and their interactions with others as well as the ramifications of their actions … that’s where the real meat and potatoes of the series is for me. As example, Rick’s introspection and decisions. Glenn’s lay-it-on-the-line common sense. Michonne’s rare, in-your-face sensibility. (We saw example of this big time in Sunday’s episode during her discussions with Rick.) Daryl’s seeming off-the-cuff outbursts which, when you dissect them, can often reveal more wisdom than knee-jerk reaction.

So is there too much monotony when an episode like “Them” comes along to slow down the pace? Hell no. It’s completely necessary to the story.

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I was never sure if the original Hot Tub Time Machine was actually funny. I had seen the movie as the second part of a double feature at the drive-in, and I had been put into such a bad mood by the first movie — Kick-Ass — that I couldn’t even crack a smile during HTTM until about two-thirds of the way through. So I thought I’d give the sequel a shot to see if maybe there was something hilarious I missed because of that other movie.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 picks up after the events of the first movie with Lou (Rob Corddry), his son Jacob (Clark Duke) and friend Nick (Craig Robinson) as the leads. John Cusack (wisely) opted not to reprise his role from the original, although the character of Adam does hang heavily over the film, especially when the three meet Adam’s son Adam Jr. (Adam Scott … that’s a lot of Adams in one movie!) in the future.

Yes, this time the three think they’re going into the past to prevent Lou’s murder (and, let’s face it, he really deserved to be shot in the dick), but the hot tub actually takes you where you need to go, not where you want to go, so they end up ten years in the future and have to try to figure out which red herring killed Lou in the past. Was it the unaccounted for Adam? His jacket is lying next to the hot tub, so perhaps he used it to escape. Was it one of Lou’s disgruntled employees at Lougle? (Yes, Lou invents Google before Google, so it’s now Lougle). Was it actually Jacob, who seems to have benefited greatly in the future from his father’s death? Or someone else? Whoever it is, you can be sure a dick joke will be involved.

Yes, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 seems to have been written by a group of horny twelve-year-old boys who have a fascination with penises and the word “fuck.” Unfortunately, they never seem to be able to figure out how to make either thing the least bit funny (although some squirting semen does garner the film’s one big laugh). Not only is it not funny, but the character of Lou has been made even more grating than I remember him from the first movie (perhaps because Cusack was the real star of that film instead of Corddry). A little Lou goes a long way, and even when a SmartCar tries to murder him, you have to wonder why anyone else would care to save his life. He’s just awful, but there should be a huge cheer from the audience when he gets his comeuppance at the film’s end.

Craig Robinson probably comes off best with his musical ambitions and theft of popular songs like Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” (right down to recreating the original music video). Some of Nick’s songs, which Robinson actually co-wrote, are clever and funny so I have to give him points for that. Duke is fine and Jacob is not as obnoxious as Lou, but you have to wonder why he’d even care about saving the life of someone who is just so utterly terrible to him, even if Lou is his dad … who treats Jacob like a butler instead of a son. Adam Scott fares well too, especially as he goes from weird and needy to completely off his rocker after having a hit of something called Electric Ladybug. Chevy Chase makes a brief appearance and Community alum Gillian Jacobs appears as Adam’s fiancée.

There are not really a lot of good things to say about the movie. They can’t even keep their main concept of how the hot tub time machine works straight! They have to put some kind of blue crystals in to get it going and then there is a big deal made about getting totally plastered with drugs and alcohol, then blacking out and waking up at the destination. They go through this process at the beginning of the journey, but then any other time they use the machine, they just add the blue crystals and off they go. Why make such a big deal out of getting hammered if that really has nothing to do with the mechanics of the time machine??? Or at least address it later with a “huh, guess we really didn’t need to do that” after they time travel again. And almost everything you see in the commercials for the movie happens in the last five minutes!

When asked what we thought of the movie by the studio reps on the way out, the most positive things we could muster were, “the color processing was excellent,” “the sound was loud and clear,” “the picture was really big.” That was about it. I’m sure fans of the first Hot Tub Time Machine will flock to see this one, but right about now I’d like to jump in the tub myself and try to get that wasted 90 minutes of my life back.

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The original 1966 Batman TV series took decades to see a release on DVD and Blu-ray, but the wait was definitely worth it! The first 30 episodes from the series’ second season are now available on DVD and Warner Bros. Home Entertainment graciously provided a copy for my review for this Throwback Thursday installment.

I grew up watching the original Batman series in reruns on cable television. It was always one of my favorites because it was so wondrously colorful and wacky. Everywhere you look in any given screenshot, your senses are bombarded by psychedelic, eye-popping costumes that only a 1960s series could pull off so well. It’s like a live-action cartoon with campy music, zany guest stars and playful puns and punches flying left and right. Don’t get me started on the delightful variety of villains the series also offered! From familiar comic book favorites like The Joker, Penguin, Catwoman and Mr. Freeze to crazy, new villainous concoctions such as Egghead, King Tut, The Clock King, The Archer and The Minstrel, the second season is full of fiendish foes and perilous plots. I’m having trouble deciding which villain is my all-time favorite because they’re all so interesting and diabolical in their own unique way!

The Second Season, Part One has many big-name guest stars, including Cesar Romero, Julie Newmar, Burgess Meredith, Vincent Price, Van Johnson, Art Carney, Shelley Winters, Liberace, Walter Slezak, Carolyn Jones, Victor Buono and Cliff Robertson. One interesting thing about the series was that they used various actors to play the same villain from season to season. Season two features Julie Newmar as a purrrrfect Catwoman and Otto Preminger as a space cadet-looking Mr. Freeze with a ray gun. In addition to the main guest stars, there are also numerous cameos from other notable stars, including Dick Clark, Sammy Davis, Jr., Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes), Ted Cassidy (Lurch from The Addams Family) and musical group Paul Revere and the Raiders among these episodes. Just don’t blink, or you’ll miss ‘em!

Egghead (Vincent Price) is the only villain I remember being smart enough on the series to almost figure out that Bruce Wayne was Batman, so that makes him credible in my book (despite all of his “eggs-cruciating” puns every five seconds). The Archer (Art Carney) is awesome because he steals from the rich and gives to the poor a la Robin Hood and his Merry Men, while The Minstrel (Van Johnson) oozes charm and romantic lyrics that make you fall in love with Van Johnson and his velvety voice all over again. Not only is The Minstrel a musical genius, but he’s also equally versed in electronics and probably the only villain worthy of facing Batman in a technological showdown of wits.

I was delighted to discover that one of the most memorable episodes from my childhood was included in this set — “The Spell of Tut” — the one in which King Tut (Victor Buono) tries to resurrect ancient Egyptian scarabs to wreak havoc upon Gotham City’s water supply. Also look for horror icon Sid Haig as the Royal Apothecary in the King Tut episodes. Another old favorite of mine, “The Greatest Mother of Them All,” featuring Shelley Winters as criminal matriarch Ma Parker and her gang, is also included. The Parker clan has always reminded me of the Beagle Boys on Duck Tales, another beloved show from my childhood and perhaps the subject of a future Throwback.

An unexpected surprise was seeing footage from the Indianapolis 500 used as a racing event held in Gotham City in “Come Back, Shame,” an episode with Cliff Robertson as Shame, “The Conniving Cowboy of Crime,” a cowpoke/car thief who looks like he was lifted out of a spaghetti western complete with his sidekick Okie Annie (Joan Staley from The Ghost & Mr. Chicken fame). Of course, Shame and crew don’t look quite as tough as your traditional cowboys with their polka dot handkerchiefs and etc., but that’s beside the point when you can “get angrier than a hyena with laryngitis.” Another hidden gem was “Hizzonner The Penguin,” an episode in which Penguin runs for Mayor of Gotham City against Batman. It was the weirdest political debates I’ve ever seen, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t want all of Penguin’s cute, clever campaign paraphernalia. He had lovable, furry penguins all over his campaign buttons, posters, stickers, etc. I wonder if anyone ever made any of that stuff collectible because I would buy a lot of it for my personal collection of pop cultural oddities!

All of Batman’s gadgets in the Bat Cave, Batmobile and utility belts have never looked better — every detail has been completely remastered in this DVD box set. While reviewing the set, I realized that there are two types of people in this world — those who can appreciate the campiness of this series and those who simply cannot. Neither my mother or boyfriend could make it past more than a handful of episodes before they were begging me to turn it off, but I could have gone on for hours (the set has a total running time of 755 minutes), and my 21-year-old brother and his friends seemed amicably interested as well.

Every “Splatt!,” “Pow!,” “Biff!” and “Zok!” (yes, you read that right: Zok!) practically pops out of the screen at you in amazing comic book color as do the fabulous glittering outfits worn by Chandell (Liberace), and I had a lot of fun reviewing this set. The Season Two, Part One DVD box set features beautiful artwork from the eye-catching covers to the four discs depicting the iconic ’66 Batman logo on each. The only disappointment I had with the set was its lack of bonus features, but that’s what the expensive, all-inclusive Blu-ray collector set is for I suppose. I’ve read the Blu-rays come with an episode guide, Adam West scrapbook, vintage trading cards, digital copies of the episodes and an exclusive Hot Wheels replica of the Batmobile. The discerning collector would be better off saving their pennies for the Blu-ray set, but if you’re yearning to get your hands on some of the episodes in the meantime or if you’re introducing the series to a new generation of fans, this box set is a good starting point. If I’m ever lucky enough to review another Batman set, I’ll catch you at the same Bat time, same Bat channel.

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With the new film Fifty Shades of Grey coming out for Valentine’s Day, many couples will be tempted to spend their hard-earned cash to see it. Instead, lets look at why 2002’s Secretary is the smarter alternative.

To start, lets look at story. A young woman meets an older man in a position of power named Mr. Grey, the two become attracted to each other and embark on a BDSM relationship. Yes we just described both films with that one simple sentence. Two movies dealing with intense sexual relationships, focused primarily on BDSM, and having the male leads named Mr. Grey. The films diverge from here and show two very different takes on this lifestyle. Fifty Shades puts all the power into the man’s hands and focuses on the purely sexual side, making the female lead little more than a toy for his amusement. Secretary concerns itself with showing a fairly traditional love story, boy meets girls, boy and girl flirt, something goes wrong, girl tries to get boy back … but dressing such a traditional idea with an untraditional relationship. At it’s core Secretary is still a love story where Fifty Shades is a lust story.

Now lets look a little closer at the characters. Fifty Shades presents us with Christian Grey, a rich wildly successful businessman, and Anastasia Steele, a naive college student and virgin still finding her place in the world. In Secretary we meet Lee Holloway, a smart but damaged young woman, lacking in social skills and just out of the hospital for self harm, and E. Edward Grey, an odd, socially awkward attorney, who while successful is modestly so. The imbalance in these relationships becomes apparent immediately. Where on one side we have a rich powerful man towering over a shrinking violet, on the other hand we have two socially awkward people looking for someone who can appreciate them for their odd behavior and taboo desires. Where Christian Grey almost forces Anastasia into a new and frightening lifestyle, E. Edward Grey pulls back from Miss Holloway and she becomes the pursuer. Secretary is not only the more balanced story, it’s the one that empowers women.

This brings us to a fundamental problem with Fifty Shades of Grey. From what I’ve read of the BDSM community, a driving force seems to be that both parties enter into it with full knowledge and desire of what is going to happen. Whether through safe words or  agreement ahead of time, everyone involved knows their boundaries and they all sought out what they are getting into. Anastasia may be curious about what she is presented with but she’s really satisfying Grey’s desires, not any pre-existing ones of her own. Again Secretary shows us both parties enjoyed BDSM activities prior to meeting, they are satisfying both of their desires.

Next, lets look at our talent. Fifty Shades brings us Jamie Dornan, whose biggest role to date was the sheriff on Once Upon a Time, and Dakota Johnson who has only had some small film roles and one failed sitcom. They are brought together under the eye of director Sam Taylor-Johnson in her second full length feature. While they all seem to have some talent, they are by and large untested and unproven. Secretary also has a director with a limited body of work, Steven Shainberg, who boasts just a small handful of directing and producing credits over a twenty year career. He had the luck however of having two strong lead actors in Maggie Gyllenhaal (who had already been in ten feature films by 2002), and James Spader, whose performances are always deliciously odd but fascinatingly so. Despite being seventeen years apart in age the two of them work wonderfully together, bringing both an odd, socially inept, weirdness as well as a sweet childlike sensitivity to their characters.

Both films are adaptations of existing works, Secretary is an adaptation of the short story “Bad Behavior” by Mary Gaitskill. Fifty Shades of Grey started its life as Twilight fan fiction titled “Master of the Universe” which E. L. James published under the pseudonym “Snowqueen’s Icedragon.” Yes, that last sentence is a real thing which I just typed and you have just read. For many people the words “Fan Fiction” and Twilight will be all it takes to deter you from seeing the film. Kudos to you for being so smart.

While I’m sure people will flock to theaters to see Fifty Shades of Grey, I can only hope that a few people will take that time and watch (or even rewatch) a much lesser known film which tells a beautiful if unconventional story. Plus while the average movie ticket costs eight dollars, Secretary is available streaming for a very reasonable $2.99, money well spent.

  

Over the past few decades one thing has become abundantly clear — television audiences love sociopaths. Whether it’s Scrubs‘ Dr. Cox, or the titular characters of Dexter, Sherlock, and House, America seems to love emotionally distant yet brilliant characters. Sometimes they push into psychopathic territory but they still end up fan favorites, sometimes they’re the hero, other times a mentor, and other times villains we love to hate.

Fox is betting on that affection for the new show Backstrom, they even gave it the tagline “Brilliant detective, total dick.” Unfortunately Backstrom comes up lacking in the brilliant department and very heavy on the dick. As of this article, there have been three episodes of the show so far, all three have been painfully uninspired and lacking any real charm. The only real stars in the show are Dennis Haysbert, of 24 and Allstate commercial fame among countless other projects, along with Six Feet Under and The Office star Rainn Wilson as Backstrom. The rest of the cast is made up of fairly unknown actors. There are some pretty faces in the supporting cast but no one really stands out as particularly memorable or special. No one sticks out as particularly bad either, just forgettable.

Fox seems painfully desperate to create the next House with this show but they come up severely lacking. Most shows in this vein try to show the audience that this terrible jerk is brilliant and that’s why people put up with his crap. From word one, the writers seem to have adopted a tell and no-show attitude. Backstrom seems dead set on telling us ad nauseam how smart he is while showing us that he actually just makes wild unsubstantiated guesses and is usually wrong. When he is right, more often than not, the success has nothing to do with real detective work and more with dumb blind luck. One character even suggests that Backstrom works on a higher plane, that he sees the world differently and when he suggests a man is guilty just because he’s black that Backstrom really noticed his body language and read into his soul but isn’t aware he’s doing it and that’s why he gives such ridiculous reasons for his intuitions. My eyes rolled so hard when I heard this I feared they would get stuck that way.

This shows a primary problem with the entire show, instead of slowly building our respect of this character, peppering in bits of his dickish behavior, they instead try to force us to respect him by telling us he’s brilliant while saying that we should find his terrible behavior funny and endearing. Plus they seem to be trying to seed in possible future plot points far too early. Several times, ancillary characters have made reference to Backstrom’s famous father, a perfect upright citizen who apparently abused him as a child. They are obviously setting up his father to enter the show eventually and be in contention with his son. Then on the other end we have a gay, thieving, son of a prostitute, who is also Backstrom’s roommate. How Backstrom knows his mother is left vague and one character even notes their similar appearance. Uh oh, looks like Backstrom will be dealing with an illegitimate child who he may or may not realize is his.

These are the kind of things most shows would wait until season three or four to get into, right around the time they start running out of ideas. Here we’re setting these up in episode two. Not a good sign of things to come. Plus the show is already treading the clichéd, “Hey! This jerk is really a well-meaning guy with a tortured past and a dark side.” If we never get to know him as a hard-assed cold-hearted genius and the writers start deconstructing him from day one, nothing they do will have any real impact. Rainn Wilson is really trying to make the character his but he just doesn’t have the charisma of a television lead. Scenes where he attempts to play up some sort of irresistible sexual draw are played seemingly straight but come off as a joke.

From uninspired writing to miscast parts, Backstrom is a misfire on every level. Its police procedural elements are boring and its comedic elements fall flat. Barring a complete overhaul in writing and tone, there’s little chance we’ll be seeing Backstom again next year.