The CW
God bless the United States! Whatever your political affiliation is, no matter your social status, there is one thing that we can all agree on: we are a bunch of kooks. Blame it on the remnant beliefs of our Puritan ancestors, the general decline of human kind, or the drugs that the government puts in the water supply that keep most of us at a calm…even…keel. Whatever reason, we’re just a bit loony.
Sometimes, we get paid large sums of money to be loony and publish our loony findings to the press for the world to see. It’s at that point that the world collectively rolls its eyes, sighs, and says ‘Those Americans. What a bunch of cooks!’ Oh, you may scoff and glare angrily at me, but I speak the truth. I provide as an example a recent study blaming sexy television shows as the impetus for teen pregnancy.
I kid you not!
Here’s the skinny: The RAND research organization performed a three-year study where they surveyed a number of teenage applicants (718, to be exact) as well as 23 shows, ranging from most to least sexy, that were popular with said teens. The researchers monitored these pre-adults three times between 2001 and 2004. When it was all over, they observed 91 pregnancies…mostly from the girls. From this, the researchers gleaned — and this is where it gets confusing — that the top 10th percentile of adolescents who watched the most sexy programing had twice the chance of becoming pregnant or causing a pregnancy compared to the lower 10th who watched The 700 Club.
This is phenomenal news! I mean, who would’ve thought that sexy scenes on television shows would be the cause of so much pregnancy. For a brief second there I thought teen pregnancies were the cause of peer pressure, alcohol, drugs, boredom, misinformation from parents and peers, sheer stupidity, and alien abduction. Then again, I’m just a simple writer. So, what the hell do I know.
But, just think about this for a moment. If shows with any hint of sexual content can lead to pregnancies, what does that say for other programs currently on the air. Does The Shield promote increased corruption within the police ranks? The Big Bang Theory push the idea of quantitative physics theorems to the uneducated? Is According to Jim doubling the risk of obesity among older men, or is it putting a false sense of security on said men that they can grab sexy wives any time they want?
Research firms should continue to study all genres of television programming. Eventually, viewers will get tired of hearing that their favorite programs increase their risk of excessive flatulence, laughing at bad jokes, and serial killer tendencies. Soon enough, they’ll turn off their televisions and focus on their friends, family, and columns such as this. And, when that happens, my job will be complete.
Clacked by Richard Keller 
on Nov 04, 2008 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
These studies are lame. There was a recent study saying that violent video games are indeed bad for teenagers. 90% of male teens play violent games, but there isn’t a 90% crime rate.
I BLAME 24 for VIOLENCE AMONGST TEENAGERS!1!1!!!ONEONEELEVEN1!
*snicker*
Seriously there’s a joke here in germany that 99% of all people commiting homicides ate bread before going on their rampage.
Bread is the reason for gun violence.
OMG!!! I just had a sandwich!
That’s pretty funny, Sebastian. You gotta love statistics!!
LOL
Yes. It can be very, very bad for teens. Especially if their family doesn’t give a flying shit about how watching said programs translate to the real world. I grew up in the 70s and there was just as much sex on TV then as there is now. But I also knew that sex equaled pregnancy which equaled someone like me which I DID NOT WANT…so I waited. Until I was 20.
Not only did my mother and father talk to me about the realities of television, but I was lucky enough to have the mother and father of all television lessons – The Afterschool Special. We not only watched these blessings after school, but they actually rolled in a TV to the classroom, called the AV dork to make sure we were hooked up to the right PBS channel or VCR and then WATCHED THEM IN SCHOOL! We didn’t watch shows about how pregnancy and sex was wonderful at our age, and accept all the asswipes in all the crappy situations…we were taught to be better than those bad choices.
I know…I know. Everyone is going to scream that I am a conservative. I don’t believe that every choice made is a good one, if you just spin it around in another direction. How dare I think that someone may be WRONG and not accepted because of it? Back when girls got ridiculed at school for getting pregnant, and told they may have messed up their lives (my high school friend didn’t have the best time having not one, but TWO babies during senior high, and even though I supported her, I didn’t run around saying it was a blessing – she was 17 and had BABIES for gods sake), it did make everyone think twice.
So…TV can be good, or it can be bad. I’m sick of my wonderful television being blamed for things that have always been around. No screwing with my TV. Leave it full of sex, violence and add some more realistic swearing ala cable. And then make parents do the damned job they chose. Um…parenting!
MW, I am a card-carrying liberal maniac, yet even I agree with you. Seriously, GG, 90210, & 1TreeHill only discuss the emotional ramifications of sex (e.g. rejection). However, even show break-ups are temporary. Hey, as opposed to brief ‘pregnancy scares,’ how about depicting actual pregnancies or abortions? Admittedly, the latter aren’t quite as sexy ;), but Juno did a good job of intermingling reality with entertainment.
Side bar: how is a study of 718 teenagers comprehensive? Why doesn’t the article describe the teens’ family scenarios? Also, regarding race, is race truly a factor so much as socioeconomic conditions? Finally, what shows catalyzed these ‘sexy feelings’? Maybe couples attempting to conceive would have an easier time if they added them to their DVR line-up ;)