NBC had a great opportunity with Crusoe, opted for crap

NBC

I think NBC really missed out on an opportunity here. They had a chance to tell the story of Robinson Crusoe in this thirteen-episode series. From the beginning, it was billed as a thirteen-episode limited series. So I thought we might get a thirteen-part exploration of the Daniel Defoe novel. Instead, we seem to have something that has all the cheesy elements of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys minus any of the charm. Sure, there aren’t any supernatural elements, but there almost doesn’t need to be any.

I’d intended to review the series, but found myself struggling to even watch it. The series is formatted with very little continuity or depth. In each episode, Crusoe and Friday either deal with a marauding band of bad guys who’ve come to the island (which must be at a major ship crossing as often as people keep showing up … and yet they’re still shipwrecked after six years), or just gallivanting around together reaffirming their friendship. What fight scenes there are are horrendous, and aside from Tongayi Chirisa (Friday) there isn’t anybody worth watching. I watched two episodes in a row to get back on track, but I just don’t think I can review it any more after this. I can’t even watch it.

Tonight’s episode offered some connections to last week’s installment. Last week, Team Crusoe dealt with a ship of mutineers and managed to damage the ship before they could get away. This left the island full of hostiles, but also a ship nearby. Crusoe, who always has a plan, intends to wait until they repair it and then commandeer it for himself. Oh, and there’s a woman with a fake mustache among the crew pretending to be a young boy. Because that’s never been done before.

Another thing we’ve never seen before is one of our cast members getting trapped under some heavy weight with rising water all around. Oh now, what to do? I will sacrifice myself for the greater good. Nonsense, I will rescue you. Huzzah! I have rescued you at the last possible moment. Cue dramatic music. We shall accept our Emmy Awards for best dramatic performance now. I would like to thank the amazing writers who came up with such a stunningly unique situation to put our characters in. Next week, one of us will die only to find out at the end of the episode that we didn’t really die.

This just isn’t the kind of show that should be on a major network in prime time. I don’t care that they did put it on the Friday night ghetto. This is a syndicated drama in every respect and even then it’s an insult to a lot of those. From the quality of the acting and the writing on the island, I have to think they tricked Sean Bean and Sam Neill into thinking the whole series was going to have the level of artistry as their flashback sequences, otherwise they’d have never done it.

To think that Sam Neill traded in his The Tudors robes for this drivel is downright depressing. NBC had a real opportunity to explore short-form fiction in a prime time setting. The UK does shows like this all the time. 10-15 episodes to tell a complete story and we’re done. This could have been the first of many big budget classic adaptations. Instead, it’s a steaming pile of horribly choreographed sword fighting crap.

Clacked by Jason Hughes
on Nov 08, 2008 @ 11:11 EST5EDT