Advertising through a recession – Guest Clack

Julia Hass is back Guest Clacking for us again after her great five-parter last month:

Like every other family in America, my family will, when asked what the best part about our relatively new acquisition of a DVR (yeah, we’re behind the times) is, answer “we get to fast forward through commercials.” Commercials have been the bane of any television watcher’s life, the scourge of their existence. They are the meaningless fodder stuck in between the tensest moments when you very desperately need to know what happens on the other end of the commercial break.

I don’t know. Call me crazy, but I kind of miss them.

I mean, yeah, they’re annoying, and insipid, and ridiculous. But they’re a part of life. They’re the price you pay for watching something live. And they’re a unifying force. Maybe they don’t work the way you think they will, since no one seems to remember the product taglines go with, but they do remember the hooks and taglines themselves. I mean, remember the “Wasssssssssup?” craze of the mid-nineties? (Are you, like me, still trying to forget it?) What about “Where’s the Beef?” The inside jokes become your inside jokes — like my brother has this voice he used to use to talk along to the Five Hour Energy commercials and now all he has to do is say a few words in that voice and I descend into hysterics.

My family is a group of TV hecklers. We can’t watch anything — movies, television, even videos on YouTube — without running commentary (this is particularly annoying during movies, when my mother and I will predict the ending loudly, and within the first five minutes). My best friend, who primarily watches TV with my family, came back from her first semester of college a little shocked to learn that not only did most people not do that, but most people didn’t like when people did that. After a half an hour of my sister and I yelling at the television over something-or-other, she settled into our couch, beamed, and went “oh, it’s good to be home.”

This would all be fine and good if it weren’t for a worry I have, a looming worry I cannot get rid of, and that is this recession I keep hearing about. (We’re in one, did you notice?)

It started with the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl, of course, is primo commercial time. And naturally, as a commercial connoisseur, I was stoked. But between the rampant 3-D advertising (which I hate because it makes me motion sick with or without the glasses on) and, well, the general failure of everything else (Cash 4 Gold? As usual, Jon Stewart voices my opinions far better than I am capable of on my own), I came to the shocking realization that I’d been trying to avoid for so long – nothing was safe. And, naturally, this makes me concerned. How can we continue to uphold our national identity as a country of advertisers if our advertisements are falling down on the job

So, as a consumer and commercial expert, I’m here to offer companies my expertise. I’m the perfect person to do it too. I’m a twenty-year-old female who watches more TV than any rational human should — I’m like the poster child for the consumer they’re trying to reach. So as that person, I feel it is my right — nay, my duty — to school these companies on what good commercials look like. I mean, there are plenty of bad commercials out there that I could definitely go on about. (Charles Schwab, what’s with the rotoscoping? And Lays, you’re in the doghouse for your new ridiculously sexist Only In A Woman’s World series. And don’t even get me started on the Axe commercials.) But, you know, I think we have enough negativity in our lives. There are companies out there who, despite the recession, are pulling together and making commercials work for them. And I say we salute them.

AT&T
One good way to save company money? Bring back a timeless commercial that works. I think the company that’s done that the best is Verizon Wireless. I love this ad and the story it tells. A cute little girl and her dad? Who doesn’t just melt at that? Plus, the background music (provided by the ever-splendid Amos Lee) just sets the entire tone perfectly. And if hitting you right in the babymaker with off-the-hook adorable doesn’t work, you can always amuse yourself with trying to find how many times Verizon has included their signature reception bars in this thirty second clip. It’s a fun game the whole family can play! The sad thing is? My brother and I actually do play this game. (“Oh my god, the palm trees! The palm trees are bars!” “Please, I noticed that three weeks ago.“)

For those of you who care, there are seven different times the bars appear. See if you can spot them all! Play with you friends! Sure to be entertaining for at least five whole minutes.

Windows
Speaking of hitting you in the babymaker — can we discuss the new “I’m A PC” ads Microsoft is putting out? Because as far as I’m concerned they feature the most adorable children in existence. The message is simple — Microsoft is so easy, a little kid could figure it out — but it’s not hit-you-over-the-head, nor is it condescendingly stated. Instead, it’s presented as charming — look at these little tykes, sending pictures to their friends and family! Don’t you just want the runts in your life to do the same thing for you? I do.

P.S. Kylie, any time you want to send out more pictures of your fish Dorothy or want a really cool babysitter? Call me. I’m also up for adopting you.

E*Trade
Believe me when I say that my father is the absolute last person to fall for cute baby commercials. Which is ironic, because I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy more in love with cute little babies than my dad. He adores them. He can’t even go to the supermarket without coming home and telling me about the little little girl with pigtails who was flirting with him or the boy in the shopping cart making vroom-vroom noises. But try to hit up his inherent daddy parts in advertising? He’s still too man to fall for those shenanigans.

Which is why it shocks me time and time again to see the level at which he enjoys the E*Trade commercials. They are his absolute favorites. I still can’t quite piece together why, besides that they’re kind of delightful (though no more delightful than any other cute baby commercials). Why I like them, personally, is because they make the babies talk realistically. This is my biggest pet peeve — when animals or babies are made to talk by basically animating their mouths up and down like they’re puppets. It looks ridiculous and fake and throws me off every time. So kudos to E*Trade for not falling in that trap. And double kudos for making babies appealing to people who don’t like babies in advertising.

T-Mobile
It’s pretty rare to find good banter in commercials. I guess that’s because they’re usually only 30 seconds long, but seriously, can we work on this? Because good banter is hard to find anywhere, including on television shows. That’s why my sister and I love this T-Mobile commercial — a witty couple bantering with each other over butt-dialing! I think the real credit for this commercial doesn’t go to the writers but the actors. Sure, the script is pretty good — names the product without being clunky about it — but the actors are what puts this commercial on a whole other level, managing to make the exchange seem both totally natural and like it could happen to you. After all, who hasn’t butt-dialed? As the owner of a flip-top phone, I’m personally a pocket-picture person, but I can still appreciate this ad for what it is — and that is pretty damn great.

Clacked by Guest Clacker
on Mar 25, 2009 @ 16:30 EST5EDT