Oh, that poor ShamWow! guy. People used to make fun of him for those stupid commercials, and now they’ll just make fun of him for being stupid. The minute he got arrested for punching a hooker who bit his tongue, Vince Shlomi was destined for a life of jokes pointed straight at him.
Here’s just a few that came up among me and my cohorts: “ShamPow!” (my son); “I hope he had a few ShamWows on hand to wipe up the blood!” (a fellow Clacker); “I guess she didn’t love his nuts” (another Clacker); and “How does he still have a tongue? Or maybe he doesn’t, and now his career is doubly ruined” (yet another Clacker).
But my favorite comes from a fellow Clacker who ruminated on the logistics of the guy having no tongue and having to pitch these products: “Ith the Thamwow, folkth! Spill it an justh thham it up! Ith that thimple!” and “You’re gonna wove my nuth! Thlam your twouble away with the Thlapchop!”
Yeah, we know it’s tasteless. But it made you laugh, didn’t it?
Clacked by Jane Boursaw 
on Mar 30, 2009 @ 14:00 EST5EDT
ShamPOW! Knocks down whores for only two payments of $19.95!