Even at two hours long, I was really excited for last night’s season premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t watch it anyway, but the addition of a bunch of quasi-celebrities a few seasons back revamped this show in a major way. Now the laughs come from who the contestants think they are just as much as what it is they’re doing from week to week.
As the show has done before, this year the games began with the men pitted against the women. That will change as the women get decimated — and they will, judging by this group — but for now it’s the battle of the sexes. And boy are these two teams different.
Team “Rock Solid,” led this week by Bret Michaels of the band Poison, was functional, agreeable, and cohesive. Meanwhile, team “Tenacity,” led by this week’s project manager Cyndi Lauper, was as dysfunctional, and full of chaos and in-fighting, as they could possibly get. To the point that, if it were scripted, I might have fast-forwarded through all of their scenes. The personalities on that team do not match, and while that usually makes for a lot of fun, here it was just one big mess.
One of the great things about the new Apprentice is that we get to “meet” people thus far unknown to us, who become part of our “celebrity” vocabulary (I will never stop inserting quotes around that word when discussing the contestants on this show). In years past that’s included Clint Black, Trace Adkins, Piers Morgan, Stephen Baldwin, and Jesse James for me. This year, I’m ready to add Curtis Stone.
When I wrote my preview of this season’s cast, I had no idea who he was. I still don’t, but he’s definitely the first person I’ve connected with. Him and Goldberg, who actually is a rather funny guy when he’s not scaring the crap out of you with those arms. And it was definitely Curtis’ task to lose last night.
Although I must say two things. One, running a diner in midtown Manhattan is not the same as running five star restaurants around the world, and the fact that Donald Trump never makes those distinctions is a bit odd (would he be successful running a Bed & Breakfast? Unlikely.). Two, this game has progressively become more and more about who has the best contacts. And last night I got the impression that everyone was calling in their “A” games. For the first task. I seriously hope I’m wrong, because no friend no matter how close is going to come to the rescue for 15 straight tasks. Year one saw a lot more creative effort put into the tasks. Year two less so. I just hope year three is a return to form, not a continuation of a downward progression.
Anyway, I was enjoying the episode tremendously until Mama Rivers showed up. I don’t want to get bogged down in her again this season, so I’ll just say that I hope that was the first and last that we’ll see of her.
The women got trounced, and I guess the reason is the old connections game again. Because even raising their prices wouldn’t have saved them … unless someone had thought to put in an express take-out line. That’s actually a market that both teams missed, and it would have solved the women’s space issue. Either way, they lost by $28,000, not counting the $10,000 they got because the men let Mama Rivers’ food get cold. That’s serious.
And I couldn’t believe how pathetic they all were in that boardroom. Not a single one of them has the fire to get through this competition. I was really surprised that everyone was so afraid to speak up. The fact that they lost, and that Cyndi couldn’t pick anyone to come back to the boardroom with her, should have proved her lack of leadership ability, and led her to be fired. I think Carol Leifer getting the boot was the first sign of Trump favoritism for the season. Lauper beats Leifer in publicity. But good for Carol for asking for a donation to her charity.
Overall, I’m looking forward to what’s to come. Some other fun stuff from last night:
One other thought I had. I hold no good feelings for the man, but how in the world is the Govna going to compete on this show? Unlike the athletes, models, actors, or whatever, who are competing or have competed, he was the Governor of Illinois. Forget about whether or not this is dignified of him … he’s walking in there with better executive credentials than the guy whose show this is. How’s he going to manage? I think that’ll be something to watch.
And how could I forget to mention — Don Don’s back! Yay!
“How old is Edith?” – Don Don to Cyndi, after she said that her friend Edith had a crush on Donald Trump
“You’re beautiful, many of you.” – Trump to the female “celebrities” in the boardroom
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Mar 15, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
Running a busy kitchen is much the same anywhere, I guess.
Wow, Trump needs a bar of soap for his mouth. That was toooooo much. I usually like him a great deal, but he almost seemed drunk….?
*POST AUTHOR*
Too true. I just wonder how much time Curtis spends running kitchens, and how much time he spends running restaurants. There is a difference, which is akin to the comparison I made to Trump himself – he can develop and manage a hotel, but could he handle the hands-on of a B&B? Same field, different responsibilities. I’m just saying, Curtis Stone being a celebrity chef shouldn’t mean that any task involving food should be his milieu.
Have to agree with you on Rivers showing up. I can’t stand her. Her and her daughter were such cry-baby haughty taughty b*tches last year, I’m amazed I even watched this year. When they showed her walking down the street, I almost stopped the DVR.
So hoping she doesn’t show up again.
The fact this program is back on the air is enough for me.
The fact there are ‘D’ list ‘celebrities’ is also an attraction.
As with you, Senor Aryeh, I was impressed as all get out with Bret Michaels. Complete 180 degrees from what I thought I knew about the dude. And in a good way, as well. I’m on board his train.
Much as I like Cyndi Lauper, her butt should have been strung up, not Carol Leifer’s. Yes, yes, yes … Carol could have stepped up more. Her ‘carnival barking’ was tepid at best, but she did what she was told. Cyndi’s ineffectual leadership was just shy of a shame and, had Carol stood up for herself and flung it back at Cyndi, I’d be willing to be dollars to donuts she’s still be around.
There will be conflict … of that I’m certain. I’m a’hankerin’ for it and will be there when it happens.
P.S.: Maria Kanellis? *swoon*
They bring Curtis in on The Biggest Loser to show the contestants healthy ways to prepare meals. That’s where I know him from. And Trump has to keep Cyndi Lauper for her “star power” but firing Carol was a mistake. If anyone should have gone, it should have been Holly for not going out and bringing her big spenders into the diner.
*POST AUTHOR*
That occurred to me in theory, and I was actually going to mention that about Holly. What gave me pause was the fact that that still would have left other people’s donors in line, so the blame for that isn’t fully on her. However, she should have been proactive and made sure that all of her teammates brought all of their own donors in. Sitting there at the door, she definitely should have been charged with that. And she should have been made to answer for why she didn’t do something about it.