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ABC Saturday night lineup – Clacking the dream

TV shows may come and go, but we can always imagine what an ideal night's lineup might look like. Let's take a look at the dream Saturday night on ABC.

This is it folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: it’s the final leg of my exhaustive night/network study! Come next week, we’ll be ready to evaluate the best each night of the week had to offer us at any given hour … you know, for back before we had multiple DVR boxes in each room of our houses recording two shows at a clip.

In the meantime, let’s finish things off semi-strongly by taking a peak at Saturday night on ABC. There’s actually a show I’ve been saving just for now, so be prepared to get excited.

8:00-8:30 Maggie was a comedy about everyday life … ah, for simpler times when shows didn’t need hooks. Of course it only survived for eight episodes, but still. I’ve heard the talk recently about remembering actors for particular characters; for me, William Shatner will only ever be Denny Crane, not T.J. Hooker (or anyone else, for that matter). Life with Lucy was past when Lucille Ball should have stopped, Once a Hero was about a cartoonist who’d lost his touch, The Young Riders was still about the Pony Express upon further review, and The Jeff Foxworthy Show kept the titular character from his true calling as a game show host. Second Noah paired a writer and a zookeeper in holy matrimony, C-16 failed with a classic FBI angle, and America’s Funniest Home Videos never was or will be true to its title. And I’ve already slotted The Wonderful World of Disney on my Sundays, Mr. Belvedere on my Fridays, and Who’s the Boss? on my Tuesdays. This one’s a Free Play.

8:30-9:00 It’s a Living had a fun run atop a skyscraper, but there was nothing unique about it that continues to stay with me. The Ellen Burstyn Show was an early peak at Megan Mullally, Living Dolls was a terrible spin-off of Who’s the Boss?, Where I Live needn’t have bothered, and Maybe This Time shoved Marie Osmond, Betty White, and Dane Cook in a box together and expected good results. What sticks with me the most about my choice at this hour is one word: “Luke!” as shouted by Ben (Jeremy Miller) at Luke (Leonardo DiCaprio) more times than anyone could count. In all sincerity, I didn’t see DiCaprio’s time on Growing Pains as bad for him or the show. To each their own, but I loved it. Maybe not quite as much as the other six seasons of fun from the series, but enough to have fond memories of it as well.

9:00-10:00 The Love Boat is one of the most romanticized series ever. Granted some of the characters are memorable, but was there anything more beyond that? I’m not so sure. Heart of the City was Christina Applegate’s first series, B.L. Stryker was an early version of Terry McCaleb (a Michael Connelly creation), China Beach never became Vietnam’s M*A*S*H, and Crossroads turned child/parent bonding into the ultimate motorcycle ride. Total Security was just another day at the office for a security firm, Fantasy Island the remake flopped, and Coach is safe on my Mondays. Free Play sounds good.

10:00-11:00 The guy on the original Fantasy Island never seemed to notice the plane (get it?), Finder of Lost Loves was for the pre-Craigslist set, and Spenser: For Hire was the late Robert Parker’s PI. We covered The Love Boat above, Twin Peaks packed too much science fiction for my taste, and I could never connect with Michael Chiklis on The Commish. Relativity expressed a lot of cheesy emotion, Cupid (with Jeremy Piven) far too little, and Ed O’Neill’s L.A. Dragnet whimpered to a merciful end after one season. This one’s actually more of a recent revelation for me; had I taken a look at this night a year ago, I would never have been able to include the show. But now that I’m more than halfway through my virgin diary? The Practice lives on.

I feel like I’ve come though the far side of a very long, narrow tunnel. I definitely enjoyed this process, but some time slots were pretty painful. On the other hand, I’m extremely psyched to begin pitting my picks against each other in an attempt to schedule seven ultimate nights of television watching.

And I think we closed it off okay … not the best of nights, but pretty good for a Saturday. What do you think? What does your dream Saturday night on ABC look like?

512BglD3qVL. SL160 The Practice virgins diary The one where we get the greatest gift of all

Photo Credit: ABC

Categories: | Clack | Features | General | The Practice | TV Shows |

3 Responses to “ABC Saturday night lineup – Clacking the dream”

April 22, 2010 at 11:36 AM

Spenser: For Hire! With respect to Joe Montegna, who played Spenser in the TV movies that followed, Robert Eurich WAS Spenser. I pictured Spenser looking like him from the moment I read the first novel, long before the series ever came out.

April 23, 2010 at 3:53 PM

Agree with Debbie–Spencer:For Hire, with Robert Eurich. Unforunately for us both the actor and the writer are now gone–I miss them both. I assume someone will try to continue the series in the novels like they have with “Bond” and “Bourne”, but they will never be the same.

April 23, 2010 at 3:55 PM

Oh Twin Peaks, how I love you so.

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