Gossip Girl Experiment: Are the last 20 minutes enough?

I’ve been watching Gossip Girl since the beginning, and while I believe the show provides some great entertainment, it is extremely formulaic. I’ve had this theory since Season 2 that I can probably just catch the last 20 minutes of any given episode, and can pretty much piece together what’s happened.

Well, on Monday night, my DVR was malfunctioning, and I couldn’t get it to work again until 9:39 — nearly forty minutes into the newest episode of Gossip Girl. So, just for fun, I decided to watch the last 21 minutes of the show first, before I caught the full episode online, just to see if I could in fact get by with that. (As we’re nearing the finale, I’m expecting a couple of things out of the ordinary, too).

Here are some events of note that went down in the final 21 minutes that, to me, seem to fit the Gossip Girl formula:

• The characters are all gathered at a party (well, duh).
• Blair gets humiliated at said party after trying to impress someone important.
• Everyone defends Chuck.
• Within five minutes, everyone gangs up on Chuck.
• Chuck wears a paisley tie (my favorite thing about him!).
• Blair has to choose between Chuck and another man who may be more “suitable” for her, but is not as well “suited” to her as Chuck is.
• Dan is caught in the middle of some drama involving two girls, thinks he’s so smart, but then doesn’t realize he’s getting played.
• Dan thinks he knows all about the Upper East Side and tries to help a damsel in distress.
• Vanessa gets conned and ostracized.
• A character (in this case, Raina) makes a covert phone call to someone who’s been out of the picture for some time (in this case, Chuck’s uncle Jack) enticing him or her to come back.
• Someone shuts the door in Serena’s face/turns their back on her.
• Blair makes a rash decision. (In this case … engagement!!!!)
• Chuck does something self-destructive.

Did I miss anything?

So, what I’ve gathered from the last twenty minutes, with regard to the rest of the episode, is this: (I promise I read no recaps or took any peeks at the beginning:)

Everyone is gearing up for a party (or, in this episode, it’s probably called a “ball,” because they were in the midst of royalty) to meet Louis’ mother. Blair needs to impress her to prove herself worthy of the prince, which I am assuming she doesn’t (Louis’ mom utters to him, in an icy French accent, to “end eeet“).

After that whole Humphrey mess last week, Chuck probably decides that yes, he in fact does love Blair and needs to have her. Serena and Blair are probably acting bitchy to one another because of the Humphrey-Waldorf kiss (which, incidentally, sounds like a good name for a shot).

In other scheming news, Charlie, who is swiftly becoming everyone’s favorite crazy person on this show, offers to throw Rufus a party for the guys who might hire him to produce their band, elicits Vanessa’s help, and then fails miserably (whether on purpose or by accident, I’m not certain), blames the whole thing on Vanessa, and turns the ever-malleable Dan against her.

Also, someone (possibly Chuck, possibly Nate) reveals to Raina what really happened to her mother, igniting a sudden understanding about why her father is so eager for Bass Industries to collapse.

[Lengthy pause as I go and watch the first 40 minutes … thanks, by the way, to Ivey for providing me with the episode.]

Okay! Well, here’s what I have to say about the first part. There were, in fact, little details that I didn’t know about. One was that Serena actually clued Louis’ mom in on the fact that he and Blair were dating. Another was that Louis was expected to have an arranged marriage and that 10 other women were selected to meet him at this ridiculous ball. And that Blair would have to participate in some sort of reverse fairy tale challenge in which she would have to make herself worthy of her mate. (Dorota’s flash card idea with facts on all the royalty was inspired!)

But other than those details, what I missed most in the first half were the little idiosyncrasies, the Chuck-isms and Dan-isms and Dorota-isms that I’ve grown to know and love. Oh yeah, another thing: Vanessa just happened to be at the bookstore and witnessed Charlie giving Dan that peck on the cheek. Of course. When is Vanessa not in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or, the right place at the wrong time … whatever.

So, the results of my experiment?

Are the last 20 minutes of Gossip Girl “enough to get by?” Yes. Are they “enough?” Well, that’s for you, faithful watchers, to decide. But seeing as the first part of the episode allowed me to delight in the dialogue, yell at the screen, and roll my eyes in that comfortingly familiar way, I’d say that, for me, no, the ending is not enough.

XOXO!

Clacked by Rachel Blum-Jose
on May 05, 2011 @ 09:30 EST5EDT