CommercialClack – To fiber or not to fiber

Tara: My pick this week has to do with the fact that I’ve been paying more attention to what I eat for the past several months. You know, the whole fruit, veggie, nut and fiber deal. And when I mentioned this to Michael in passing, we got into an argument. (Hard to believe, I know!) An argument about fiber of all things! One of our stupidest disagreements yet! (Hard to believe, I know.) And then! This commercial came up …

Michael: Well … you’re wrong on two counts and redeemed yourself on one point. You’re off to a good start. First of all, it wasn’t an argument! And it wasn’t stupid. But you’re right in stating it was a disagreement. Cripes! I don’t even remember what the discussion was about. Translation: Couldn’t have been that important.

But! The commercial at hand: I love this thing. Because I’m on board with this guy … and here’s why: If you’re eating decently? You don’t need fiber. You don’t need to choke down those “crud” bars or whatever they’re called. All you need to do is have a little self-respect and eat like a normal, conscientious human being and you’ll be fine. It’s all a marketing ploy for you to purchase and consume reconstituted cardboard made to appear good for you.

Tara: First of all … Geez! Why are you being so mean to me … ?!? Obviously you’re cranky because you don’t eat enough fiber. As a matter of fact, didn’t I see two hotdogs with jalapeños posted on your photo blog the other day, Mr. Nitrates? So! That kind of throws your “eating conscientiously” statement right out the proverbial window.

Michael: First of all, it was only one hotdog as anyone can plainly see. But here’s the thing: With all the jalapeños I consumed that morning? Trust me: There was no need for further fiber, if you know where I’m coming from.

Tara: *eeeewwwww … !!!*

Michael: Look … here’s the deal: I live by my grandfather’s mode of thinking. “Eat whatever you want … just do it in moderation.” And you know what? That not only works for me, but on top of that, I eat more vegetables than the average person does in three days. So get off me when it comes to fiber.

Tara: Fine. Changing your mind would be like trying to push an elephant across the state of Michigan, anyway. But! Let me say this about Fiber One bars: I, myself, have one every day.

Michael: That’s your problem — your continued abuse of fiber bars has acclimated your body to the point it doesn’t know what’s real anymore.

Tara: *slaps duct tape across Michael’s yap* Aaaaahhhh! That’s better! I’ve always wanted to do that.

And now to finish my thought: You see, I subscribe to a code as well, that being: If it’s tasty and it’s good for you, like these FiberOne bars? Go for it! It’s a win-win situation.

Michael: *murfle-muh-flarble!*

Tara: Now that I’ve had my say, I guess we should mention our “next big thing”, huh? *rips tape off Michael’s mouth*

Michael: That hurt! You mean our latest project coming up next Friday, Tara? MusiClack?

Tara: Yes! Exactly! I can hardly wait! Can you imagine? Music being discussed on CliqueClack!

Michael: Yay! You know how much I like music!

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:00 EST5EDT