Well, Survivor is back for its 23rd season, and I have to say this first episode really didn’t grab me the way I thought it would. There was no real drama and there was no surprise that Coach and Ozzy were coming back to play — that had to be the worst kept secret of the summer. So how did the veterans fare with their new tribes?
Coach was given a cold shoulder by his tribe, Upolo, who didn’t seem thrilled to be playing with the Dragon Slayer. Christine flat out said he was just there temporarily (then she went and put a HUGE target on her back by not so subtly looking for the hidden immunity idol). Ozzy got a much warmer welcome, and has already set his sights on making alliances with some of the more attractive members of his tribe (and unfortunately, I know too much about Ozzy’s adult entertainment endeavors to think his picking on the pretty girls in his tribe is anything but strategic).
After last season’s hoped for battle between Russell and Boston Rob that never came to fruition, the producers dispatched with all the teasing and let Coach and Ozzy go head-to-head in a “Hero Challenge” before the tribes even went to camp. It was actually interesting to see Ozzy’s tribe give him instructions on how to complete the puzzle, while Coach had to ask his tribe for help — which ultimately wasn’t helpful as Ozzy and the Savaii tribe won, figuratively carrying Ozzy to camp on their shoulders. Coach’s tribe, except for Edna, left him behind without so much as a word.
We didn’t get to meet many of the players, which is common at the beginning, but there are a few strong personalities to watch for. Cochran, who insisted Jeff call him by his last name, is a hoot with his self-deprecating humor, but will he have the stamina to outlast the other stronger members of his tribe? Being a super fan is one thing, but you have to have some strength to back it up. Dawn survived her day two breakdown, and I really like Mark (aka Papa Bear) for his demeanor and attitude (although he thinks he’s old at 48 … harumph!). I thought Semhar and her spoken word performance were great, and Ozzy was certainly drawn to her, but Jim the science teacher … I mean medical marijuana dispenser … could be trouble.
And, of course, there’s the big elephant on the island — Brandon Hantz. When I first heard he was cast, I was resigned to not even tuning in because we’ve had enough of one Hantz on this show to last us a lifetime. Surprisingly, Brandon seems to be a complete 180 from his uncle. So far, he’s been very soft-spoken, has played well with others, hasn’t caused any problems in camp, did well in the challenge … but he’s got those tattoos with his name on his arm and back. He’s done all he can to keep that part of himself hidden (especially when the tribe members all hoped Russell wasn’t one of the returning players), but how long will he be able to keep up the charade? Will he crack, or will someone see his tattoos (and guessing from the preview for next week, he’s going to crack). Once he reveals his heritage, Brandon is going to have a harder battle to fight than Coach. Think, kid, hold out until at least the merge!
SPOILER ALERT!
In the end, it was Semhar’s abysmal performance in the immunity challenge that sent her home over Cochran’s geekiness. She pretty much proclaimed she was a champ at tossing coconuts into a basket, and everyone should know by now that when someone steps up to the plate with such vigor, they’re usually going to fail. She did. Big time. But Semhar gets to spend some time on Redemption Island, where she will either tough it out or beg to go home. I’m betting on the latter.
Clacked by Chuck Duncan 
on Sep 14, 2011 @ 22:39 EST5EDT
What’s that about Ozzy? *reassessing rooting strategy*
Brandon seems like he’s a nice fella, of course there could be “loco” smoldering in there somewhere, ready to be unearthed. Lack of food and rest, coupled with the pressures of the game will make him prove out one way or another soon, I’m guessing. He should have shown his tattoos right away. Concealing a secret always casts a shadow, and people can see shadows, like the preview indicated.
. . . . .
I, like you Chuck, was under-whelmed by this premiere.
You pretty much summed up everything in your 4th paragraph up there and I’m on board with your descriptions. I couldn’t help buy roll my eyes at the crocodile tears Dawn was shedding. It continues to amaze me there are contestants who politic to be on this show then find the living and social conditions not up to their standards. *shakes head*
I truly hope Cochran stays around for a while. I dig the guy. He’s the poster boy on the back of my comic magazines … the ultimate 98 pound weakling. Similarly, I hope for Semhar to keep on keepin’ on. There’s something about her …
*POST AUTHOR*
From what I’ve read, the Tribal Council went on for over two hours as Cochran basically spiraled into a ball of paranoia and self-doubt … even though it was clear Semhar was being voted out. He’s really going to have to turn his game around and gain some confidence if he plans to stay.
Was it an editing error when Brandon was shown fishing with a spear and a mask? Looks like they put a scene in the premier that clearly took place at some future time.
*POST AUTHOR*
I don’t think it was an error. They seem to have been giving the tribes more “basic” items to start with over the past couple of seasons and fishing gear may be one of those items.
Jeff said that they gave them fishing gear in his tout stream. He said they weren’t given any rice, so any food will have to be caught/found by themselves.
This show has been on TV for 22 previous seasons. Can someone explain to me why some of these people can’t dress in the proper attire for “camping out?” Ankle length skirts, pant suits, nothing suitable for swimming except underwear, what’s up with that?
*POST AUTHOR*
Yeah, I’ve always wondered that too, but I discovered last season that the producers basically dictate what each person wears (or what clothing they can take with them) on the island, because each one has to be a “type.” If you look closely, from time to time they will have one or two other articles of clothing, but for that intro the visual impact is that this guys is a rancher, this one is a business person, etc. So, it’s not that the contestants are idiots, but the producers feel the need to hobble them with stereotypical clothing so we, the viewing audience (whom, I guess, they believe are morons), can tell them apart.
I “love” that Hantz has this vibe of someone who’s tempted by women and seeks the Lord’s guidance not to rape them.
That was a “lovely” two minutes of airtime where they kept bashing that notion with a bat in our faces.
It’s those moments where I know that this lasted for most likely fifteen seconds and they needed to have all the angles from all the cameras that were present at that moment to fill those two minutes. This edit-driven audience manipulation sucks.
Most likely the guy is the tamest person on earth and he got cornered by the interviewer what he thought about the other contestants and when he felt as if he was caught he let off the typical “I am a newly married” bla bla bla you do when you are young and don’t know how to defend yourself any better.
Ten years older and you just ask the interviewer back what he’s talking about and brush past it.
Anyway, I liked the premiere. There have been way worse in the past and considering how much pathos Ozzy and the Tattoo-Nerd carry, it was ok. Although I have to say someone needs to zap Coach every time he pretends to do meditation or yoga. It’s so damn annoying.
I see what you are getting at with the editing. It strongly implied he was a fiend of some sort. That probably was not fair. Again, we’ll see…
*POST AUTHOR*
I did think the shot of Brandon leering between the palm fronds was a bit much. It was like a scene from a slasher movie. But you sign your life away to be on these shows and you give them permission to construct any characterization that they want to fit the “story.” It probably only helped the edit that he referred to the girl he was leering at as “Delilah.” That was all they needed to run with.
THANK YOU. Slasher movie! I write four paragraphs and all I needed was two words to describe it perfectly.
I don’t watch that kind of movie so small wonder I didn’t remember :-)