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New Girl – All women are bad

Cece has the power to disrupt everything. And she does. Effortlessly.

- Season 1, Episode 5 - "Cece Crashes"

First? The Men.

Men do things. Sometimes, they do strange things, stupid things, inane things, things a normal person wouldn’t think of doing. They put on “airs of challenge” when someone conducts virtual territory pissing in their direction. In many ways, it’s a natural reaction. (And by the way: Women aren’t immune to these airs; they just conduct them in different ways.) And that, my friends, is why we had the tiffy little match which escalated comically between Schmidt and Winston as a result of the former wearing his too-short-to-be-viewably-comfortable-to-anyone kimono. Winston’s strange, stupid, inane retaliatory reaction? Tissue on and out and about his person. Didn’t that entire portion of the show just make your evening? It did mine. (And how do I know about these “airs” you might ask? Let’s just say if you asked me about any real-life experience where they may be concerned, I might need to “take the fifth” as any information disseminated may or may not be grounds for incrimination.)

And by the way: If you think otherwise about said “airs” … not believing they exist in men and women? You’re not male … or female. But I think we all know you know better.

Now: The Women.

Women are strange creatures. They have the power. They weave webs. They put on their own unique “airs” … and quite spectacularly I might add. Case in point? Cece, Jess’ tall-drink-of-water best friend on New Girl. It’s completely possible for her to elicit reaction and attract … and nine ways to Sunday, I might add. Without even trying. Schmidt’s insane acrobatics should have removed all doubt of that fact. His supposed coolness is infused with so much “Schmidt” — the “coolness” and the “Schmidt-isms” constantly struggling with each other — that it results in the antics you saw as he got all jacked up at the prospect of scoring with Cece. That’s power. Power she wasn’t even trying to exude.

Need more examples? Two come to mind right off the top of my head: Her simple commands to Schmidt about heading to the roof and her simpler demand Winston make her a sandwich. Talk about pulling virtual strings without even lifting a finger.

It just goes to show you: All Women Are Bad.

Lux Interior of The Cramps said it best:

Samson and Delilah, talkin’ bout groomin’
Delilah said “Sam, you don’t look human”
Took some scissors, went snip-snip, said “Now everybody’s gonna think you’re hip”
Sam felt his head and said “All women are bad …”

 Notes:

  • You’ve just gotta love Schmidt … and feel sorry for him at the same time. Especially when he goes on his calm, absurd rants. He puts so much into them, you’re left with the need to tip your hat at his wit while rolling your eyes back into your head.
  • I hate to admit it, but I will now be cognizant of my feet and where they’re pointing when I’m talking to someone. Dammit.
  • How are blue flats fashionable? Especially with what Jess was wearing while out with Nick? Can someone explain this too me, please?
  • Speaking of Winston (yes … I was speaking of Winston) Lamorne Morris has transitioned soooooooo comfortably into his role on the show I realize I’ve completely forgotten about Damon Wayans Jr. from the pilot.

Quotes:

“Are you sheep doggin’ her?” — Winston questioning Schmidt as he “herds” Cece in a direction he wants her to go

“I’m disappointed in you! I thought you were better than that!” — Jess to Nick in the bathroom with the rest of the guys while Cece is showering
“I know … I am … sometimes.” — Nick

“You can’t walk around this neighborhood with bags of toilet paper you don’t even use …” — Nick reprimanding Jess

“I’m not like you! I don’t just jump in the potato sack with the first potato that I meet with diabetes … bitch …” — Jess to Cece … followed immediately by laughter between the two of them

“You … come on … get up …” — Cece coaxing Nick to dance
“No, I don’t dance. I’m from the town in Footloose …” — Nick

“What is between you and that chair?” — Winston asking about Schmidt’s mini-kimono he’s wearing … and seemingly nothing else
“Just a little bit of sunshine.” — Schmidt

“I just wanna come home … put on my ‘moe-no’ (kimono) and hang loose …” — Schmidt

 

Photo Credit: Fox

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8 Responses to “New Girl – All women are bad”

November 9, 2011 at 3:02 PM

See, the part that had me in stitches was the very ending girl fight between Cece and Jess, and Cece kept saying “My face is my job, my face is my job.” It was a silly girlfight.

November 10, 2011 at 9:32 PM

. . . . .

That was pretty hilarious, Ann … !!!

The writers just keep’em comin’, don’t they?

November 9, 2011 at 9:48 PM

Dude. You know nothing about fashion or hair. You can no longer comment on Jess’ awesome whimsical style, especially considering your preference for the original WW costume!

Agreed about Winston. But, it feels like the writing staff just lost all restraint in the past two weeks. The cat-bird? Schmidt wearing no clothes? Schmidt revealing his thoughts on Indian culture at Winston’s prodding? The writers admitting the S-man is douchier, but not stopping it? Awesome.

I always wondered why marketing-abs Schmidt hung out with such down to earth guys, but this week’s reveal made sense. Like Jess he was the pudgy kid. But while Jess descended into geekiness, S started acting like the “cool kids” (or what he thought they did).

I like that they toned down Jess and used her to anchor the guys this week. I’m also glad they got the Matthau-Jess connection out but tabled it. I like seeing them as friends for now.

Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that both Cece and Jess are beautiful women, but the guys somehow don’t notice Jess?

November 10, 2011 at 10:12 AM

. . . . .

Huh.

Well, first of all, An, you’re not the boss of me. If I want to riff about fashion or hair (no matter how off base I might be) I will.

“Whimsical style” … ?!? No. It was dopey. Those shoes were straight from the fashion machine which states next season’s colors will be yellows and oranges and capri pants and decorative buttons. Seriously: Who comes up with this crap? Who the hell dictates what colors are going to be “in” next season … next year … whatever?!? No one, that’s who. It’s a personal preference and that’s all.

See … this is why I would fail miserably as a woman – I wouldn’t subscribe to that shitake. Blue shoes as a fashion statement may look whimsical to you, but they look dorkified to me. If I was Jess? I wouldn’t be caught in public with that outfit with those shoes. I don’t want to look whimsical in that way. Period. (Side Note: I would so rock a WW outfit, however.)

Hokay … that’s out of the way. And you know I spoke the truth up there about Fashionista Powers That Be.

Yes … it was exceedingly refreshing to see Jess put in the background somewhat to let the other players in the game shine. There’s not one single main character on this show I don’t like. That’s a compliment to their strengths all around.

Cece and Jess are beautiful in their own way … but Jess (as I’ve stated before) needs to get her hair out of her eyes. Remember the beauty revealed when “basketcase” Ally Sheedy’s hair was rearranged in The Breakfast Club? It brought a whole new and attractive dimension to her. I don’t doubt this would be the case with Jess if those bangs got whacked or re-coiffed.

And don’t you dare start in on me about hairstyle!

Remember: You! Are! Not! The! Boss! Of! Me!

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November 10, 2011 at 10:38 AM

Ally Sheedy **swoon**

November 10, 2011 at 9:25 PM

. . . . .

Well, Mr. West

I had no idea …

November 10, 2011 at 7:43 PM

* Sigh * Michael Noble. If you spend one week wearing WW’s corset, Cece’s ridiculous gladiator platform heels and flat iron your hair out every morning WITHOUT FAIL; WITHOUT changing your shoes/clothes midday, THEN you can comment on women’s fashion. But, ONLY then. If interested in the challenge, I have several clothing stores I can recommend :)

Cece wears clothes for male admiration, while Jess wears clothes for her. I love how men have an ideal for women’s clothing, but only if they don’t wear it. I think you know whose clothing I prefer more :)

P.S. https://iamthebossofyou.tripod.com/ ;)

* Off to buy a comfortable pair of blue satin flats * :)

November 10, 2011 at 9:31 PM

. . . . .

I’m not much for making excuses, An, but I will say this:

For 9 1/2 hours I rocked a dishy dress and (impossibly high) heels … with nary a complaint. (Even shaved for the occasion.) The “whole nine yards”, too.

Flat iron? No. No need, won’t go there. That’s pointless.

One week? I do have to work, you know. So that is an impossible request … and you well know it.

Do NOT categorize me: “I love how men have an ideal for women’s clothing.” I do not have an ideal. I know what it takes. Been there, done that.

While the link made me chuckle, you’re still not the boss of me.

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